Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality.

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds doctorates in English and Psychology, is a clinical psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy. See full bio

April 10, 2009

The Wisdom of Spontaneity (Part 3)

On Those Who Are Neither Spontaneous Nor Impulsive

So far, I've talked about the many advantages of acting more spontaneously--and the various disadvantages of behaving impulsively. But what about those who almost never respond either way?--those whose habit is to painstakingly ruminate over almost every act, every choice, every decision? Read More

April 3, 2009

The Wisdom of Spontaneity (Part 2)

In Blink, Malcolm Gladwell observes that "spontaneous opinions and decisions arise out of the unconscious." My own point is similar, but what I believe should be emphasized is that there's a lot more going on in our unconscious mind than might be apparent. We may not actually need to think about something before acting because we have thought about it (or something similar to it) in the past. It's as though, paradoxically, we've already prepared ourselves to make the so-called "spontaneous" decision we're making right now. Read More

March 27, 2009

The Wisdom of Spontaneity (Part 1)

Technically at least, the terms "spontaneous" and "impulsive" are synonyms. But only rarely can they be used interchangeably. "Spontaneity" is infused with all sorts of positive connotations. Impulsivity? Just the opposite. This post will explore how "blessed" are those free to act spontaneously; and how "bedeviled," "accursed," or "ill-fated" (comparatively speaking) are those driven to behave impulsively. Read More

March 18, 2009

Childhood as an Impulse Control Disorder (Part 2)

Part 1 of this post focused on the normality--and dysfunctionality--of childhood impulsivity. This second part will relate "untamed" impulsivity in children to later addictive tendencies. It will also make an ardent appeal for parents to deal as compassionately as possible with their children when their really annoying impulses start getting on their nerves. Read More

March 12, 2009

Childhood as an Impulse Control Disorder (Part 1)

This quasi-facetious title is meant to highlight something essential to understanding childhood. Namely, that--more than anything else--what distinguishes children from adults is in their ability to control impulses. Read More

March 5, 2009

Human Nature Abhors a Vacuum, Too

If scientists ever come up with a physics of the psyche, one of its first axioms might be the above title. We humans crave stimulation, and on many different levels. Read More

February 22, 2009

In Families, Blood May Be Thicker . . . but Skin Is Thinner (Part 3 of Why Criticism Is So Hard to Take)

Originally, I was going to call this post, "I'm Always Getting Criticized: The Trials of Marriage." But I opted for the more "picturesque" title above. Read More

February 5, 2009

Why Criticism Is So Hard to Take (Part 2)

This post offers additional bulleted explanations to help account for the almost universal susceptibility to criticism. Read More

January 29, 2009

Why Criticism Is So Hard to Take (Part 1)

Very few people can take criticism graciously. For most of us, being criticized is uncomfortable at best--de-stabilizing (or even devastating) at worst. Read More

January 15, 2009

Attachment vs. Detachment: Finding the Psychological Golden Mean (Part 2)

Dysfunctionally Attached--and Moving Toward the Golden Mean of Attachment

Being too detached--or not sufficiently available or responsive to others--represents one pole of the attachment continuum. Read More

Personality Basics

Questions of personality have vexed mankind from the dawn of personhood: can people change? How do others perceive me? What is the difference between normal and pathological behavior? One's personality is so pervasive and all-important that it presents a clinical paradox of sorts: it is hard to assess our own personality, impossible to overlook that of others.

Go to the Personality Basics page for more on Personality including:

Current Issue

Everyday Creativity

How to start living creatively and reap the benefits.

Subscribe to Evolution of the Self

Personality Basics

Current Issue