Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality.

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds doctorates in English and Psychology, is a clinical psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy. See full bio

September 16, 2009

Child Entitlement Abuse (Part 2 of 5)

It's essential that children learn how to soothe themselves when they're experiencing uncomfortable emotions. But they can hardly be expected to undertake the difficult journey toward self-consolation and -reliance when it's so easy to turn to their parents whenever they're in distress. Intuitively, they pick up on their parent's guilty concern for them and (consciously or not) devise increasingly creative ways to exploit these guilty tendencies. Read More

September 15, 2009

Child Entitlement Abuse: How Parents Inadvertently Harm Their Children (Part 1 of 5)

Without doubt, serious child abuse undermines a child's healthy development. It's obvious that regularly beating children, molesting them, ignoring their essential needs (or even abandoning them) are all major forms of abuse. But only rarely are child-rearing methods that teach a child to feel entitled seen in this reproachful light. Yet such methods can breed adults whose false sense of identity and purpose can doom them to a lifetime of frustration and discontent. . . . Read More

August 27, 2009

Compassion--Can It Transcend Forgiveness?

I've never been entirely comfortable with the concept of forgiveness. Sure, if you're truly to get over being wronged or abused, you'll need to forgive the person responsible for hurting you. Yet to me there can be something uncomfortably condescending about forgiving another. It's almost as though you're saying, "I'm better than you, ‘cause I never would have done what you did to me . . . but because of my charitable ideals, I'm going to forgive you anyway." Read More

August 6, 2009

Gullibility (Part 6): Some Final Gullibility Busters

If you've ever struggled with gullibility, these suggestions should enable you to cultivate a healthy skepticism--which in turn should "arm" you against those who view you only as an object for person gain. After all, it's only wise to be wary about people and situations you don't really know that well. Read More

August 6, 2009

Gullibility (Part 5): Seven More Gullibility Busters

This post will describe some additional ways to develop gullibility resistance. Specifically, it will discuss such proven techniques as learning just why you got victimized--or duped--in the past, becoming more skeptical about the "evidence" of anecdotes, being wary of so-called "authorities," and the importance of keeping your emotions under control. . . . Read More

August 5, 2009

Gullibility (Part 4): The Path to Nongullibility

Just as a large variety of factors (internal, as well as external) contribute to your gullibility, so are there multiple remedies to combat it. My final three posts on this intriguing subject will suggest many different ways you can learn to become more gullibility resistant. Not that you'll ever become totally immune to being gulled. Given all the ways unprincipled others can deceive you, such an outcome simply isn't realistic. . . . Read More

July 28, 2009

Not Really About Race: Analyzing the Gates/Crowley Conflict

Much has been written about Henry Louis Gates Jr. Carefully examining the emotional dynamic between these two inflamed individuals—equally ensnared in a tense and trying situation—I'd like to offer a fairly detailed psychological explanation for what really transpired that fateful day. . . . Read More

July 22, 2009

Gullibility (Part 3): More Negative Self-Beliefs That Can Lead to Gullibility

More Negative Self-Beliefs That Can Lead to Adult Gullibility

I think it's only common sense to infer that significant correlations exist between the distorted negative tapes that may be "running" automatically inside our head and our regrettable gullibility to others. . . . Read More

July 21, 2009

Gullibility (Part 2): Possible Childhood Origins of Adult Gullibility

Possible Childhood Origins of Adult Gullibility

It's been observed that, developmentally speaking, children under the age of eight are unable to formulate an independent sense of self--separate, that is, from how they perceive their parents as viewing them. Or, it might be said, at an early age children can't help but see themselves as they're reflected through the eyes of their caretakers. Just what, then, do parents unwittingly say, or imply, that can implant in us a deficient sense of self that leaves us as adults without the confidence, security, or knowledge to resist others' efforts to take advantage of us? Read More

July 20, 2009

Gullibility (Part 1): How Vulnerable Are You to Being Duped?

How Susceptible We Humans Are to Getting Hoodwinked

Gullibility can be defined as a person's susceptibility to getting fooled, tricked, or otherwise manipulated. I've come to see this complex subject--both practically and theoretically--as an area of study as vital as it is fascinating. And to me it's certainly worthy of the most serious professional scrutiny. . . . Read More

Personality Basics

Questions of personality have vexed mankind from the dawn of personhood: can people change? How do others perceive me? What is the difference between normal and pathological behavior? One's personality is so pervasive and all-important that it presents a clinical paradox of sorts: it is hard to assess our own personality, impossible to overlook that of others.

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