Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality

The Rarely Recognized Upside of Anger

I’ve published so much on anger’s toxicity that it may seem odd that I now feel the need to write something far more positive about the emotion. Not that I don’t continue to see anger as in most respects hazardous—to your relationships, as well as your physical and mental health. But there’s one aspect of anger that, at least in certain contexts, makes it invaluable. Read More

Upside of Anger

Dear Dr. Seltzer,
Wow and thank you. Even though my therapist said all 3 kids in our family should have been in foster homes rather than with our parents (both cruel and punishing people), it took this article for me to realize where my anger comes from and why at 69, I still have it. It is a self-esteem issue; I often need to reassure myself that I'm o.k.
I've taken anger management classes and control my anger much better than I used to. However, recently, my sister got all over my case about my judging others. Well, it's to keep my life in perspective and reassure myself that all is right in my world, where I still work and most folks here really like me.
I am so tired of being bullied by her, but that's her defense mechanism. So, we stay away until we miss each other.
Still, I feel a little less crazy today, so thank you for this illuminating article.

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Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds doctorates in English and Psychology, is a clinical psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy.


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