Evolution of the Self

Thank you! This "Secret" law of attraction mystical BS irritates the heck out of me. And not so much because it's fairytale thinking (don't we all love a good fairytale). Rather, because it ends up being so judgemental! As a trauma survivor, this is the "just get over it", think-yourself-happy BS that is so offensive and makes those of us struggling with emotional problems feel so defective.

Great comment. And, yes, there's something about the "just get over it" message that trivializes human suffering, as though it's not really quite authentic, that it's almost self-indulgent. Most of all, such a glib stance can be disrespectful.

As far as your own situation is concerned, it reminds me of a tweet I did a while ago: "You are not your circumstances. And what's more, you never were."

Some of us choose to suffer through life. That is our path. Some of us choose to not suffer. It's not about trivializing. I feel no need to experience deep grief at a loss. But I don't begrudge someone who feels a need to do so. And I am not insensitive. I just feel that suffering offers me nothing useful.

I personally live in gratitude of the law of attraction.

I've been to 3 James Ray events and yes, I was introduced to him by The Secret. I am not defending James at all because I too was turned off by the way he turned his teachings into a "cookie cutter" insensitive business.

But everyone seems to not get what The Secret and people like James are saying. It is NOT magic people! It is very simple. What you focus on in your life is how you make things happen. It's very simple. If getting food in your house is your goal what do you do? You plan. You make a list and go shopping.

But, yes you do have to be realistic. No, you won't become a pro basketball player if you are 4' tall but what these and other teachings are saying is that if you know what your passion is and what you are really good at, what is blocking you from doing it? Most likely it is fear and that fear could be related to something in your past, maybe not.

Great writers are not born great writers. Great athletes are not born great athletes. It is developed by focus. If you are really into something and you live and breathe it, the chances that you become great at it are pretty good.

This is what these people try to teach. James just saw it as a money making opportunity and took advantage. He messed things up for the good ones such as Wayne Dyer.

I agree with your analysis of what happened to the followers of James Ray. He gained their trust through his strong salesmanship tools and then abused it. Just listen to some other traditionally trained spiritual leaders and psychologists speak about karma, positive thinking, meditation, etc... and the tactics used by Ray appear verys disimilar - especially in regards to selling his workshops/retreats.
I'm sad for the people who died and were traumatized. May some good eventually come from this.

It's been going on since man began. Striving to transcend and that's how runners broke the two minute mile, scientists made it to the moon, and on and on, but the point is they didn't transcend those limits in a five day workshop. Ray fell for his own hype. He was trying to build an empire overnight. Joseph Smith didn't build the Mormon church up over night. L. Ron Hubbard didn't build Scientology up in just two years. And most importantly they didn't kill their followers with extreme mind control techniques - then you have no church, cult, organization, and I suspect most importantly for James Ray - no income.

I would like to respectfully disagree with part of Walnutz's post.

I agree that you have to be realistic and I agree that you have to focus.

But Dr. Seltzer explained in his article about physical, emotional, and intellectual limitations which are ABSOLUTE.

Using the example by Walnutz, you still aren't going to become a great writer without the UNDERLYING ABILITY. You can focus all you want. Then the New Age bullies will tell you that it's your own fault, that you have a "negative attitude," and that you need to break free from your "stinkin' thinkin' ."

No offense, but there is a huge difference between making a shopping list for food, and trying to accomplish something that you have no talent for.

I don't even know where to begin.

"Choosing" not to suffer? Are you kidding me? What planet are you from?

It sounds like you are in deep denial.

I would agree with your post insofar that, without striving to transcend, mankind would not progress.

However, I think your examples of L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith are unfortunate. The Church of Scientology has been exposed as a big scam and will hopefully be destroyed soon. Taking advantage of thousands of people and bilking them out of millions of dollars is nothing to be proud of.

No comment on Joseph Smith.

This BS irritates me tremendously, also.

If any good comes out of this tragedy, I hope it is that more of us become aware of the folly of unconditional "mind over matter" thinking.

I also hope that Oprah will use more caution in her runaway-train promotion of people like Mr. Ray.

Oprah has a huge fan base. She has millions of people willing to follow her like lemmings. Since she has so much power, she should choose her show topics and her comments more carefully.

That is the problem with thinking that way. And why "The Secret" absolutely turned me off. To say that you can "choose" to grieve or not, is an intellectual frame but not an emotional truth. You can only push away those emotions for so long before they come and bite you on the rear. A statement like that shows that you have detached yourself from your natural instinct to feel a connection to mankind and within yourself. I bet you are such a loving companion in relationships. That is exactly the kind of thinking that got James Ray into this mess. He lost his compassion for others and for their physical limits. He lost his "feeling" connection to others as they were laying on the ground and in his sweat dome screaming in pain. Instead of allowing a natural instinct to help others in need consume him and take action, he "chose" to detach himself and go on about his business like nothing happened or was wrong. The guy is morally corrupt.

People who feel grief and hurt sometimes tend to have great compassion for others, because they understand what others go through. So stop it already with the "I don't suffer" B.S. I can imagine what you push inside yourself. All that frustration, pain, anger, sadness etc., just eating you up on a daily basis cause you don't let it express itself. Stop it already.

I agree that the whole idea that we "choose" everything in our lives is a recipe for victim-blame. Does a little kid "choose" to be molested?

I agree the James Ray behaved in a disgusting way--first by charging for a sweat lodge to begin with--and then by ignoring the suffering of the people he'd herded inside it. I hope he gets the pants sued off him. I went to a sweat lodge once--in the South Bronx, which is exactly the kind of neighborhood that needs 'em. It was free. When somebody threw up it was referred to as "getting well", and she was helped out of the lodge to recuperate--we all had to crawl out of the lodge when we got out, and were encouraged to lie down a bit afterwards also--because the people who ran it were compassionate people who understood that the body has its own wisdom.

But I don't believe what Seltzer writes, that knowing your "absolute limits" is a good thing. There are those who have broken so-called "absolute limits"--Tibetan monks who've gone out naked in sub-zero temperatures and stayed warm through meditation, for instance. Now, they didn't do this in a day through positive thinking alone. They trained for years to be able to build up the mental power to control their body heat in this way. But they did do it.

Most of Seltzer's examples of "absolute limits" are piss-poor: an obese person can't run a 4-minute mile? What if that person runs his/her ass off every day to build up to it? Changes his/her diet? Soon this person is no longer obese--and yes, able to run a 4-minute mile. Some people don't have the brain-power to write a great novel, or understand Einstein's theories, so shouldn't try? Don't have the brainpower according to who? Teachers who don't want to put the effort in to teach? Parents who would prefer to keep their kids dependent? Peers who need someone "stupid" to look down on? Or are IQ tests are the only measure of brainpower? The debate's still open on that--read Stephen Jay Gould's "The Mismeasure of Man".

I grew up going to special education schools. The last one I went to before getting "mainstreamed" was a high school that basically tried to shunt us into vocational training for low-level retail and food service jobs. I transferred sophomore year to a school for artistically gifted students. Others weren't so lucky. I've seen first-hand how those who are diagnosed early as impaired in some way, get treated by their parents as people who will have to be dependent for the rest of their lives, and how it prevents them from acting on their true potential. I've read Jonathan Kozol's description in "The Shame of the Nation" how the same thing happens to poor kids. It's better to teach people that they have no limits. I don't like "The Secret"--too simplistic and too victim-blaming--but I don't like the idea that we should all just accept mediocrity either.

Excellent article! Articulates perfectly the conversation going on in -my- head, at least, about the unfortunate incident and James Ray's narcissistic, detached behavior. Thank you.

I also think Anonymous makes some good points regarding accepting and not accepting limits.