Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality.
Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds doctorates in English and Psychology, is a clinical psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy. See full bio

Comments on "Criticism vs. Feedback--Which One Wins, Hands-Down? (Part 1)"

Criticism vs. Feedback--Which One Wins, Hands-Down? (Part 1)

So What's Wrong with Criticism, Anyway?

It's something absolutely crucial to grasp. Criticizing another makes them feel attacked. Not that it's our intention--at least consciously--to attack them, or even to make them feel bad. But the immediate experience for almost everyone being criticized is to feel "invaded," as though under assault. . . . Read More

You assume in your article

You assume in your article that parents criticize their kids too often and too harshly, which therefore creates a sort of instinctual and unconscious revulsion to criticism when those children become adults (and yet as adults they are driven to be almost equally as critical of others). I can say that my childhood experience was quite the opposite, but I feel equally as troubled in adulthood (i.e. having unresolved emotional issues from my past). My parents attempted to shield my sisters and I from criticism altogether by sort of subtly creating a home environment in which all criticism was bad and negative. We're getting into semantics by me saying there can be positive criticism (when you call it honest "feedback") but, basically, I feel that addressing criticism should be an essential component of the home environment because children need to be prepared for the harsh world that awaits them. Today, for instance, I feel a deep unconsious distrust of my parents' opinions of me and other things because of their lifelong bias against criticism in all its forms.

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