Evolution of the Self

On the paradoxes of personality.

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds doctorates in English and Psychology, is a clinical psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy. See full bio

October 3, 2008, Anxiety

Comments on "The Power to Be Vulnerable (Part 1 of 3)"

The Power to Be Vulnerable (Part 1 of 3)

By Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. on October 3, 2008 in Evolution of the Self

We humans are so wired that the slightest perception of danger leads to feelings of vulnerability, setting into motion the impulse to flee, freeze or dissociate. And that sudden flash of trepidation can be prompted by anything that threatens our sense of control.

Anxiety or Paranoia

Submitted by Writing Frontier on October 4, 2008 - 5:48pm.

Nice article.

I would like some professional opinions as to the question of when just when anxiety turns the corner and finds itself on Paranoia Street.

Comments welcome at Writing Frontier's "When it rains" at

http://writingfrontier.com/2008/09/06/when-it-rains/

Thanks.

No simple answer here. Let

Submitted by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. on October 5, 2008 - 11:29am.

No simple answer here. Let me just say that while both someone with an anxiety disorder and someone with paranoia are both hyper-vigilant, the former's hyper-vigilance can be seen as neurotic, whereas the latter's is psychotic. It's the difference between harboring an illusion and laboring under a DElusion: having an exaggerated fear of something bad happening vs. maintaining a fear that simply isn't reality-based at all. Hope this helps. . . .

Power in vulnerability

Submitted by Lee Horton, Ph.D. on October 7, 2008 - 1:09pm.

Great article; very helpful. I particularly liked your simple declaration, "the anaesthetizing emotion of anger." I typically think of anger as deluding ourselves into feeling powerful, but you are right in suggesting that it kills our own tension.

I would not describe "Power struggles in relationships are in fact mostly efforts to get our dependency needs met without ever confessing to our mate the anxiety their refusal would cause us." Rather, power struggles are an effort to define the relationship the way we want it. Only through caring do we compromise what we want for what our partner wants. Thus, being vulnerable allows us to challenge our partner's caring and make it more likely that we will get (part of) what we want in the relationship.