Marital faithfulness is usually associated with sexual fidelity, but it is much more than this. It is a faithful and constant love for one’s spouse. For philosopher Mike Martin, the answer to the question concerning whether or not marital faithfulness is a virtue is yes, for many reasons, including those below.*
First, faithfulness is a virtue in the right context. When a context includes the presence of love, and the relationship is one of mutual caring, support, kindness, and joy, then it is a virtue. For Martin, it does not follow that faithfulness in a bad marriage, where there is disaster and hopelessness, is a good thing. There must be something good about the love in the relationship for faithfulness to be a virtue. In general, I agree with Martin here, though I would emphasize the point that there are contexts when marital difficulties and struggles are present and yet faithfulness is still a virtue. Clearly when there is abuse, and perhaps infidelity, then faithfulness is not necessarily a virtue. However, there are many cases in which it will remain a virtue while the marriage is “bad” in one or ways.
Second, talk of faithfulness should sometimes be set aside. For example, in marital counseling, there are times when a couple should focus instead on practical problem-solving skills concerning their relationship. Assigning blame for the bad in the relationship or credit for the good can hinder healing or growth in the relationship. At first, I thought this was a mistake, given that if both partners value faithfulness then this will help motivate them to try to solve the problems in their relationship. But of course this only necessitates valuing faithfulness, not constantly discussing it. So, this seems right.
Third, in a marriage relationship, effort, responsibility, and virtue are required. Couples may “fall out of love,” or go through a period where they are not attracted to one another. Or perhaps they tend to focus on one another’s faults. All of this can happen, but not only can a marriage survive these difficulties, it can ultimately flourish as well. I would add that part of marital faithfulness is intentionally focusing on one another’s strengths. In addition, virtue can sometimes be developed via a marriage relationship. One can cultivate patience, courage, and love in this context, and faithfulness can be the foundation of this sort of moral development.
Fourth, Martin also points out that faithfulness is not a supreme value. These are not absolute obligations; they can be overridden. I think this is true, in cases of infidelity as well as cases of abuse. However, a wife may remain committed to a husband who has an affair (or vice versa), and this may be supererogatory in a particular set of circumstances.
Fifth, love remains when circumstances change. People change over time, in a variety of ways. Some of those changes enhance the relationship and make it easier, but some may bring new difficulties into the relationship. Your spouse will change, but in marital faithfulness you remain committed to him or her as a person, through such changes.
A virtue is a character trait that it is good for a human being to have, as it is morally praiseworthy and conducive to human flourishing. With the above in mind, we have good reasons to think that marital faithfulness is a virtue.
I’m on Twitter, @michaelwaustin.
*This is taken from: Mike W. Martin (1993). Love's Constancy. Philosophy, 68, pp 63-77. doi:10.1017/S0031819100040043.
