"Dao" is a difficult concept to define and understand. It is commonly translated as "way." Other translations are "practice," "method," and "course." These are all appropriate if we are trying to understand the Dao of Daddy. Fatherhood is a practice; it takes time and for those who take it seriously it is not merely something that they do, it is a big part of who they are. There are many methods on offer to dads, with scores of books, videos, blog postings, and other forms of advice for dads and dads-to-be. I like the idea of fatherhood as a way, however, because it resonates with the experiences of being a dad. In my experience, fatherhood is much more like a mysterious journey than a set of techniques to learn and put into practice.
In Fatherhood--Philosophy for Everyone: The Dao of Daddy, a book I co-edited with Lon Nease, philosophers, psychologists, and anthropologists weigh in on the many philosophical and practical issues surrounding fatherhood. Fatherhood changes one's life in very deep ways, and fathers can do the same for their children. While these facts about fatherhood's impact are obvious, we don't appreciate them deeply enough. Fathers need to step back for a moment, get out of the chaotic stream of daily life, and reflect a bit on fatherhood. Reading and reflection about fatherhood is not only good for us, it can be good for our kids as well if we are able to put some deep and valuable insights about fatherhood and human nature into practice. I have profited as a dad from the wisdom of other dads.
We face difficult questions as dads. Should I let my child watch this movie? How much should I talk with my child about the social injustices in the world, and how can I foster a commitment to social justice in her? What is involved in the art of raising a good person? What does it mean to be an authentic father? And how can a dad help his daughter navigate life? There are no easy answers to these questions, but grappling with them can be meaningful and useful to dads in the long run.
Neither this book nor fatherhood in general is about self-help or some mechanical process which we must engage in to be successful dads. Rather, fatherhood is a difficult, rewarding, and mysterious journey. As such, it calls for wisdom. And philosophy at its best is the love of wisdom. Given this, philosophical reflection on fatherhood can be a good thing for dads and the kids they love.
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