Enlightened Living

what about work...you have had this conversation with your boss on stress, anger, and work load. He says he is concerned and wants to help you deal with your anger (i admit of have a problem)and in mid sentence he gives you 5 more things to do. and then when you say you need help its not possible because of lack of personnel, building size, time, which all equate to money of which the company has but does not see as a priority. My situation 99% of the time when I'm ask to do something I'm not being ask I'm being told not in a bad way, it just in my situation saying no is actuality insubordination. I work 10 to 12 hours a day fast pace high stress, lack of communication. I;ve done everything in my power to take care of myself exercise, diet, sleep,read alot, good marriage, wife is a big support....but there is a underling feeling that something is not right with me. moods are up and down had been on med for years dealing with anxiety depression but always need a stimulant (coffee) when on ssri...have been off all meds for a year, changed every thing i could like i said diet, exercise sleep. on weekend i'm fine sometimes i don't know what to do cause my weeks are so stressful sometimes i just sit. not depress just can't get motivated unless i drink a couple cups off coffee...and this can push me from being motivated to to distracted. I'm not a drinker but it seems like after 1 or 2 beers on the weekend i'm more alert and more focus which doesn't make sense. alcoholism/mental problems runs in my family thats why have stayed clear of alcohol . i can see how i could and have in the past self medicated. I'm a healthy 55 year old male have not been sick in over 5 years but mentally i'm just not sure. Ive read daniel amen gabor matte and john ratney jon zinn kabat.sometime i feel i have all the signs of someone with add, been the med route ssri all my doctor wanted to do years ago was give me meds. One thing i do know for sure is STRESS magnifies everything...so what do you do when you Can't say no ?