We live in perilous times. Things that we have taken for granted and may have once regarded as constants in our lives have become uncertain, feeding, in turn, the frenzy of our own personal sense of uncertainty. This is nothing new, but recent events in the economy, the world at large and, for some of us, within our own personal realm of experience, have drawn into stark relief that which is the only constant - nothing is permanent, and everything must change. Our abject denial of this single truth has, in many ways, caused us to become victims of our own device. The Dharma Journal is a three month long project intended to bring into perspective the experience of what may be our current personal challenges, as well as to address that experience in a fashion intended to promote both a personal, and a planetary, evolution.
Dharma is our path. Much like kung fu in the Chinese, it is a word that has been misconstrued in Western usage. Just as kung fu means "hard work" or "skillful means", and has little to do directly with martial arts, dharma intends "the road that we travel to get from one place to another" and has little to do directly with scripture. More plainly, it means "how we do things". The question that arises from that ‘doing' is "how does that ‘doing', as well as its attendant thinking and feeling, serve us?"
We often talk about repeating patterns of behavior. We are, as a species, nothing if not consistent. Some of this is hard-wired, something akin to the migratory patterns of birds or the nesting of sea turtles. For us, however, much of this tendency is driven by habit patterns and memory maps, as well as socialized and acculturated ideas about the way the world works, or, at the very least, should work.
One of the hardest things for us to do is to change these patterns. Why? - Because we thrive on structure and consistency, as it makes us feel safe. It often doesn't matter how rational or irrational that semblance of structure and consistency might actually be. To that point, the pain associated with maintaining destructive patterns of behavior often does not outweigh the perceived safety provided by maintaining that pattern of behavior or process of thought. It is when the breaking of this pattern becomes the imperative that drives a fuller evolution of our lives and ourselves as we know them that we may finally find the courage to change.
The courage to change means, like Persephone, entering into our own underworld; like St. John of the Cross, experiencing our personal dark night of the soul; as Jung suggests, wrestling with our shadow self. It is opening ourselves to the three nights of darkness, as in the Celtic and Druid traditions; communing with the dark crone, to use the archetypal language of fairy tales; or, as Parsifal in the Grail Myth and the Tales of Arthur (where he has been transformed into Lancelot), to face our greatest obstacle -- the Dark Knight of the Self. The notion is everywhere, and for good reason.
The real challenge is that, rather than caterpillars, we all wish to be butterflies, straight up. We desire to be -- and be experienced as -- perfect beauty, all things to all people. We begin, however, as caterpillars, and must somehow puzzle out how to get from caterpillar to butterfly. That path is abjectly clear, but none of us is immediately willing to go into the cocoon. None of us wishes to enter into that dark place of death and transformation in order that we may die to ourselves and our old patterns, reborn as something new and even more beautiful. We would all prefer to jump the shark.
It is the darkness, however - the symbolic death and dying to old ways - that is truly transformative, and nothing else. Failing this, we are only posers, inauthentic representations of someone or something who has lied to themselves, and thus lied to all with whom they might have concourse. The butterfly here is an illusion fostered out of our own fear - a fear of ourselves.
Without facing our personal truth, finding our voice and reconciling ourselves to who we are and whom it is that we wish to be, we are lost to ourselves, to the world at large and, most importantly, we are lost to those who would love us for who we are -- imperfect -- as we are.
Entering into the cocoon means a willingness to enter into the dark. It means eschewing the distractions of our daily life - overwork, overplay, drinks with the girls, Sunday football - and looking inside; turning to face ourselves, rather than so consistently running away.
There really is nothing to fear here. The truth - any truth - never hurt anyone. In fact, it is our purest path to escaping the tyranny that we impose upon ourselves and discovering our true freedom - mind, body, soul and spirit. It is then that we may reveal our true selves to ourselves and to those who surround us, living that fuller, richer and more evolved life.
It is then that we truly get to show up.
© 2009 Michael J. Formica, All Rights Reserved
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