Enlightened Living

Mindfulness practice in everyday life.

Michael J. Formica, MS, MA, EdM is a psychotherapist, social scientist, and educator in Westport CT. He is an Initiate in the Shankya Yoga lineage. See full bio

Comments on "Primal Wiring, Survival and the Need to Be Loved"

Primal Wiring, Survival and the Need to Be Loved

By Michael J. Formica on February 11, 2009 in Enlightened Living

In one of my workshops, Conscious Communication: Seven Essential Tools for Conscious and Effective Communication, I consider how our inability to say, "No" or to say, "Yes", without conditions, is rooted in the need to be loved and/or not rejected. The motivation for this need runs rather deep and is a primal survival mechanism driving our striving for community and social connection. From this perspective, the phrase, "I can't live without you.", might be taken quite literally. Read More

your writing about co-dependence is very helpful

Submitted by S on February 11, 2009 - 7:09am.

As usual you seem to get right to the core of the matter and to explain things in very clear terms. You've an immense talent for that which I really appreciate - thus my reading your blogs so regularly. I've found these last two or so on co-dependence very interesting, in particular.

I'll be blogging myself on EA.com about co-dependence (it's on my list of subjects) and would like to link back to these pieces if they're still here.

I never thought about the more 'primal' aspect of co-dependence. I guess I wouldn't since there are no bears outside my window and never were - but this concept certainly makes sense.

Speaking of your blogs here, I'm wishing they were all compiled into a book (which is why I'd previously asked you about books you're working on). I'm certain they don't stay up on the PT site forever and must circulate out and disappear at some point.

Regardless, I appreciate you and your work Michael. Thank you so much for taking time to share your knowledge and yourself so generously.

Thanks, as always...

Submitted by Michael J. Formica on February 11, 2009 - 7:28am.

S -- As always, thank you for your kind words. You are more than welcome to link back to these posts from your own. As for cycling out, I am not yet aware that they ever get taken down. Even a few bloggers who have resigned from here still have active sections. That said, as we "speak" the compendium of my 2008 posts sits next to me on my desk awaiting categorization into sections and then an attempt to get it published. I may simply offer it privately on my website to start. Also, "Conscious Coupling: Seven Essential Elements of Conscious and Effective Relationship" is done -- complete with gorgeous cover art courtesy of my friend Caroline. It'll be available soon enough. And, for those of us who like to listen, a CD reading of the book will also be available. Next up -- "Conscious Communication: Seven Essential Tools for Conscious and Effective Communication" -- obviously, they are companion volumes. Blessings, Michael

that compendium

Submitted by S on February 11, 2009 - 8:39am.

You have at least one interested party right here for that (and likely many more), so hoping you can proceed with it whatever form it takes. I'd be inclined to link to it from various places if it were onsite, as it would be a great resource. Same with the books - I'd link to them as resources.

Books on CD are very useful, so am happy to hear they will be available in that format and hope it includes the artwork. Very much looking forward to it.

Great news!

Thank you so much for your

Submitted by Neal on February 11, 2009 - 10:35am.

Thank you so much for your insight into life's mysteries. You make so much sense. I'm forever looking for your next writings. Please, please,
keep em coming.
N.