Good experiences give us breadth, expanding our ability to be in the world in a positive and productive manner.
Bad experiences give us depth, teaching us about ourselves, as well as the world and those around us. In either case, if we choose to look at what we have given and what we have taken away from each of our experiences, we can gather the light from that experience, rather than gathering the darkness.
Every experience teaches us something. If we think of each of our experiences in terms of knowledge and love - what we gain and what we've given -- we are able to gather the productive elements from that experience and push back against the destructive.
Knowledge, what we have gained from an experience, and love, what we have given, together comprise the light, positivity and productivity of our experiences. Ignorance, what we deny about an experience, and what we feel was unfairly taken from us, together comprise the darkness, negativity and destructivity of our experience.
If we are in a relationship, and that relationship suddenly sours, we can do one of two things. We can dwell in the misery of our loss, deny our part in the demise of the relationship and rant on and on about the love that was unfairly rend from our grasp. Or, we can look at the situation and see it as a gift - a place from which to learn about ourselves, to grow into a new and even more intricate version of who we are as a person. This tack will not reduce our grief, but it will bring us a different outcome because we will be in a place to transform our loss into gain.
The real choice, then, becomes whether to be joyful or miserable. And it is we who invite that joy or misery into our lives.
© 2008 Michael J. Formica, All Rights Reserved
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