Well, I love you!

And I'm so proud of you.

you never fail to impress me, impressive article

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I understood more and was so much more creative as a child. This is a perfect explanation. But would you say that it's not just knowledge that fills our cups but also emotion and experience? If I wanted to, I could just avoid the internet like I avoid TV and take a few weeks vacation from work but that would only empty my cup part way. What about the life experience that has led us to be who we are? Unless one chooses to live as a hermit, wouldn't one's cup always be involuntarily full? Is life simply a series of re-defining one's beliefs; emptying and refilling the cup until death? BTW - good to have you back.

Hi Michael,

I've been reading your blog for months now, but I don't think I've ever taken the time to give you feedback. I am very happy to see you're back. Although I'm not acquainted with you personally, I feel very connected with you through your posts. It's weird, but somehow you always offer commentary that seems so intricately catered to the circumstances of my life. You have a gift in that you write in a way that offers insight that is universally applicable, yet intimately specific. I cannot speak for others, but I know that for me personally, the impact of reading your blog has been truly profound. I've grown in so many ways... As a psychology student, as a yoga practitioner, as a patient in therapy, and (most importantly) as a human being. Thank you for taking the time to share your words of wisdom. I think that your actions have a ripple effect that radiates compassion and peace into the world.

I did want to respond to today's post. I loved the symbolism that emerges in the zen story. Your commentary did resonate with me at many levels, but I felt that your discussion of core beliefs was missing something. I agree that it is important to identify the belief and gather evidence that allows us to let it go. However, I think that until we understand what psychological function the belief is serving for us, no amount of disputing evidence will convince us to genuinely release it for good.

You say: "If we just set aside the core belief, we will free fall because one of the primary elements of our identity will be lost." Yes, that's true. But why? Taking your example, let's say an individual believes that he/she is unlovable. Why might one lodge that belief into the inner-most framework of his/her identity? Why is it that the individual will continue to cling to that belief, even when he/she is surrounded by supportive, loving individuals who tell them otherwise? Before one can release the belief, he/she must come to understand the need it is fulfilling in their life. Maybe holding onto that belief allows an individual to keep people at a distance and avoid intimacy.

No matter how seemingly maladaptive, core beliefs always have a purpose; otherwise we would not hold on to them so tightly. Until we understand their purpose and discover other means of meeting our neeeds, the search for disconfirming evidence is futile. It is only when we understand the purpose of the belief and learn to nurture ourselves in a way that we no longer need it that we are released from the cycle of suffering.