Enlightened Living

Mindfulness practice in everyday life.

Michael J. Formica, MS, MA, EdM is a psychotherapist, social scientist, and educator in Westport CT. He is an Initiate in the Shankya Yoga lineage. See full bio

May 20, 2008, Spirituality

Comments on "Understanding Karma: Action, Non-action, Responsibility, Accountability and Consequence"

Understanding Karma: Action, Non-action, Responsibility, Accountability and Consequence

By Michael J. Formica on May 20, 2008 in Enlightened Living

One of the most misunderstood notions in Eastern thought is that of karma. In the West, we often think of good karma and bad karma --- you do something good, good will come back to you; you do something bad, and bad will come back. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Read More

Retroactive value

Submitted by Becky on May 21, 2008 - 9:55am.

I know little about Eastern Philosophy but I found this post to be very interesting. Are you saying that karma is mis-interpreted as something we can control? We tend to make statements like "putting out some good karma." Are you suggesting the only judgement of good and bad can be made via consequence? Can we then retroactively place a judgement on a past choice? ( Ex. Choosing to drink too much resulted in the negative consequence of getting sick) Can we then retroactively value the choice as "bad" even though it was neutral as it happened?

Brilliant question

Submitted by Michael J. Formica on May 21, 2008 - 11:51am.

Becky: You're going to have to bear with me. I am well aware that this post is somewhat less cohesive than some of my others here. I have been struggling all day with a how to clarify some of what I've said as I've decided that, rather than posting a complete idea, to some degree I posted a thought process! That said, I will not answer your question here, for two reasons: first, your question points out a fatal flaw, if not in my argument at least my presentation and, secondly, your question poses a fantastic jumping off point for the follow-up to this article that I have been kicking around all day. Look for my next post, as it will address your questions directly, in the full forum, rather than "backstage", as it were. I fear I may have opened up a theo-philosophical can of worms, but the readers seem to like it! Blessings, Michael

advice

Submitted by Anonymous on June 27, 2008 - 12:24pm.

About a year and a half ago, my wife revealed to me she had been having an affair. We have gone to counselling and are reconciling. We were both so ashamed and embarrassed that it happened that we agreed not to tell anyone, including the wife of the other man.

I realize that part of the affair is my fault. I neglected my wife and I am making amends.

But here's the part about karma. Right now it pains me to think of the other man getting off scot-free after inflicting so much pain. I absolve myself by thinking that karma will get him and there is no need for me to do anything. What do you think? My wife is dead-set against telling anyone anything. She wants it to die out without any more damage. But what about the other man? Doesn't he deserve to feel the consequences of his actions? What do you think?

Whom does it serve?

Submitted by Michael J. Formica on June 27, 2008 - 3:45pm.

Anon: One of my teachers who, in addition to being a Shaolin Kung Fu Master, is a Clinical Social Worker and a very wise man suggested to us that, before we act, we ask the question, "Whom does it serve?" How would you answer that question in this situation? You are angry, true and hurt...but what have you lost? In reality, not much. What have you gained? Insight, a stronger marriage, some valuable lessons about yourself, your wife and how to be more attentive to cultivating and maintaining your relationship. And what would you gain by bringing this issue to this man? Only the satisfaction of visiting pain on someone because he made a selfish choice. And, in the end, I suspect you will find that not so satisfying. As for him, assuming that he getting off scot-free is a big assumption because (here, _I_ assume) you don't know what he is thinking or feeling. Leaving it alone may not feel satisfying or comforting or even very comfortable, but in time you will recognize it to be the better choice, I suspect. Put the energy you are spending on something you can't really influence or control into healing your marriage. Blessings, Michael

thank you

Submitted by Anonymous on June 29, 2008 - 7:30pm.

I showed your reply to my wife. Thank you for taking the time to write something so well thought out, it was very helpful. You are a good person. I will not tell his wife and I'll focus on moving on with our lives. Thanks again.

No, my thanks...

Submitted by Michael J. Formica on June 30, 2008 - 2:13am.

My thanks for your kind words. We are all only here to help each other out. Best of luck. Blessings, Michael

Just another thought for

Submitted by Kim on July 7, 2008 - 6:26pm.

Just another thought for "anonymous" and his wife. There is nothing gained for you in trying to make someone else feel the same pain they have inflicted or try to make him see the consequences of his actions. You have a chance to live with love and heal together. Take it and run. Don't waste your time with negative energy.
His accountability and responsibility for poor choices are his own to face...or not. We all make poor choices. Learn and grow.
Best of luck. You are stronger than you know.