Enlightened Living

In my relationship work, I have developed a model for conscious and effective relationship that talks about the deep structures and essential elements that create and sustain all relationships (1, 2). Several of my colleagues and clients, as well as many readers here, have requested that this model be presented in a legitimate “take away”, and not just as a couple of handouts.  The result is a little e-Book entitled Conscious Coupling: 7 Essential Elements of Conscious and Effective Relationship.

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has become something of the flavor of the week in recent years. It is a useful label when properly applied, but has become so ubiquitous as to have lost some of its gravitas. In truly understanding this disorder, it is important to appreciate one of its most salient social characteristics; the tendency for the borderline to "split" others, defining them as black or white; that is, wholly good or wholly bad, with no room for a grey area. Read More

One thing that has become abundantly clear, based on the responses that I have received regarding my last post, is the apparent misunderstanding that styles of relationship are equivalent to categories of relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth.

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A very wise friend of mine, mentioned before in the post on parallel process, often talks about the notion of insulating ourselves from ourselves. That's his way of considering and communicating the idea that we create distractions for ourselves, so we can avoid the work at hand. Such a rich concept bears some exploration.

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