Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.

10 Tips to Help You Pick a Good Partner

Some people have what I have come to call "broken pickers." They just can't seem to pick good partners for themselves. If this is something you're dealing with, here are some tips for making good choices when it comes to dating and mating. Read More

Avoiding the Biggest Dating Mistakes

For those who are entering or reentering the dating world, it can seem like a minefield. The dos and don’ts have shifted some over the years, but avoiding the following is always a good idea: Read More

10 Ways to Slim Down and Shape Up with Your Lover

Unfortunately working out alone is boring; it's also time consuming. I decided to get creative and find ways to exercise and not take time away from priority number-one, my relationship. These ten activities can help to strengthen your body and your relationship at the same time. Everyone is different so be sure to get medical advise before you start any exercise program. Read More

10 Tips to Help You Deal with Your Ex

Most of us have at least one former partner in our lives. Sometimes these relationships are smooth and sometimes the lines between ex and ex-tremely bothersome may be blurred. Here are some tips to help you make that relationship work without hurting your current partner. Read More

10 Ways to Ruin a Romance

Sometimes when we are upset with the one we love, we behave in negative ways to show our displeasure. If you are engaging in any of the activities listed below, your relationship is in trouble, and you both need to take action and make a course correction. Beware of the following behaviors: Read More

9/11 - Ten Years Later We Still Share Our National Grief

Is it just me, or are there others out there who think that September 11 should be a national day of mourning? It has been said that you grieve in direct proportion to the depth that you loved. For many, the love they have for our country was reignited on that tragic day. Read More

Taking Your Own Life Hurts Others

According to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, most suicides occur during late July and August, not at the holiday season as most people think. Most unfortunately, I have seen the devastation left behind when someone chooses to take his or her own life. Read More

10 Ways to Make and Be a Great Friend

The essence of friendship is about care and respect. It has nothing to do with money, attractiveness, or "the cool factor." A true friend is there for you, no matter what, and having such a person in your life is a great gift. Here are ten tools to help you create better friendships. Read More

10 Ways to Add Tenderness to Your Love Life

When tenderness is removed from a relationship, with it goes a sense of security. What takes its place is the reminder that our humanness will somehow evaporate in its absence. Here are ten tips for tenderness that will help you to keep it. Read More

Making Time Together at the End of the Day

After the dishes are done, your children are in bed, and you still have a bit of energy left at the end of the day, decompressing with your mate can be a bonding experience. Read More

10 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship (and Get Some Back)

All Relationships Need to Be Nurtured

A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs the care and nurturing of two adults, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, there needs to be: Read More

Surviving a Man Made Disaster - How Los Angeles Eased the Pain of CAR-Mageddon

L.A. Residents braced for a 10-mile shutdown of one of the busiest freeways in the world - the 405.

Summer is almost and your romantic vacation fantasy is about to come true. To avoid having your dreams turn into nightmares here are some tips to make traveling with your loved one a first-class experience. Read More

10 Truths to Keep Your Relationship Healthy

I think it's easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic rules of the relationship road that will keep you headed in the right direction Read More

10 Tips for Making Love Work When the Money Gets Tight

For Richer and for Poorer

Recent surveys say that money issues cause about 30 percent of divorces. To avoid the pitfalls, here are some tools to help you manage the money side of marriage. Read More

Interdependence Day(s) - How To Create a Balanced Relationship

We all relate to one another in different ways. Some people are very independent in relationships, others are dependent, and a number of people are co-dependent (which means they put aside their own well-being to maintain a relationship with another). Read More

Dr. Barton's Top 10 "Be's" of a Successful Relationship

Couples in successful relationships have some things in common. Much of the time it's not about what they do or don't do, it's about who they are as people and how they behave with each other. Here are some of the many ways the happiest of couples interact with each other. Read More

How To Deal With Disappointment

Even when you have a great life, you may not always get what you want. Everybody handles disappointment in his or her own way. Some pout, a few get angry, and others go into denial. So how do you handle disappointment, and is there room for improvement? Read More

Father's Day Quotes From Wonderful People

We all honor and remember our fathers in different ways. Here are what some people I respect feel about their dad's on his special day: Read More

Falling In Love.... Again

Falling in Love Is Risk Versus Reward

"Falling in love again, never wanted to. What was I to do? I can't help it."

I remember seeing Marlene Dietrich sing this in an old movie, and at the time, my hopeless romantic self didn't get it. Why would anyone not want to be in love? For many people, it seems like the best of all possible worlds. Read More

The Ten Most Endearing Things You Can Say to Your Sweetheart

Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Unfortunately, many times we are unable to put into words what we feel in our hearts. Here are ten things you can say to your sweetheart that will help you convey the depth of your love. Read More

10 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Terrorists

If you are easily hurt, feel like you take on the negative energy of others, or are sometimes called overly sensitive, you are not broken: you are empathic. Here are some tips to make your life easier and emotionally safer. Read More

You Can Be In Love for Life

It has always been the fantasy. To meet the man or woman of your dreams and to live blissfully together until death do you part. Problem is that half of all marriages end in divorce. Read More

10 Tips to Having Arguments the Right Way

Even the most caring couples will have a big argument that will cause hurt feelings for both people. Rather than going to your own corners to lick your wounds, here are some tips that will help you heal your pain and help you avoid having another round. Read More

Playing with Your Partner

My other half and I have ways of connecting that I think could help make any couple feel closer, so I thought I'd share a few of them. Read More

10 Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment

We all want to feel happy, and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joie de vivre and bring more happiness into you life.

I have gotten countless e-mails and numerous telephone calls that begin with "my mother sent me your column." We should all be indebted to our mothers; it seems as though they never stop caring. Perhaps the connection begins when they carry us within them. Read More

All You Need Is Love

Love can give you a ton of energy. It can help make the difference between wellness and continued illness, see you through an uncomfortable situation, or inspire you to get real creative.

Unfortunately, it will not pay your bills or get you clean and sober. And it's a mistake to believe that you can change someone else if only you love him or her enough. Read More

10 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem

Learning how to rebuild and maintain your self-esteem is essential to having a fulfilled life. There will always be things that come along and make you question if you are good enough. When that happens to you, using these tools will get you back in touch with your personal power. Read More

10 Ways to Make Difficult Conversations Easier

The only way to appropriately handle conflict is to actually deal with it. Most people avoid difficult conversations with loved ones because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, if you avoid dealing with a troublesome situation, you're actually prolonging the agony and may be creating some resentment. Read More

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, a columnist and radio host, and a speaker. His latest book is 100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence.

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