Keys to Dealing with Entitlement Issues

We all want things. But some people feel they are entitled to whatever it is they want, and they feel they deserve it all now. That can make for very difficult relationships, a lot of disappointment, and never receiving what is most important in life.

Material things are just that—stuff that you can have, wear, or play with. But these things can never take the place of a warm and loving hug when you are feeling down in the dumps. Unfortunately, many people believe that if they get what they want, they won’t feel bad anymore. The truth is that no matter what it is that you get your hands on or are busy doing, the lift you may get from it will last only a little while.

When you are dealing with someone who has entitlement issues, it can make your life a living hell, because no matter what you do or say, such people will never be happy. Nothing will ever be enough. It’s as if there were a hole in their soul that just can’t be filled, and it will make for an unhappy life if the problem continues.

People with entitlement issues have an agenda. They will want to be your friend if you have something they desire. I have a buddy with a vacation home in a popular ski area, and she told me how she only seems to hear from some of her so-called friends during the winter months.

I also know a man who gave his fiancée a very respectable ring, but shortly after she received it and accepted his proposal, she wanted a bigger diamond. And she wouldn’t let up on it. Finally after six months of being harassed on a daily basis, he broke off the engagement. He realized, unhappily, that her behavior was unlikely to change—he would be taken to task in their marriage if she didn’t get everything she wanted—and he didn’t care to spend the rest of his life that way.

If you are with someone who feels entitled, or if you have that issue yourself, you need to take a long, hard look at what it is that is driving your desires. Did you or the person you are with come from an underprivileged background and feel you only deserve nice things at this stage in your life? Do you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians and think you should have the same lifestyle? Our personal histories or exposure to the media can let us forget that it is love that is meant to keep us together, not things, toys, or travel to exotic lands.

Once this problem is identified, counseling may be necessary to help you let go of some pain and resolve any communication complications that have arisen. The real truth is that if you are mad at your partner because you aren’t driving a Tesla, there are deeper issues in play and you need to find out what they are.