Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

10 Loving Habits of the Happiest Couples

Things you can do to make life easier for your partner

Doing life all by yourself can be hard work, and having a loving partner makes life a lot easier for you both. Here are some simple things you and your partner can do to help each other out.

  1. Make the bed together. It’s a lot easier to make a bed with someone else than it is to do on your own. It takes about one-third of the time. It’s also a great opportunity for flirting.
  2. Make your partner feel safe. We all need to feel protected emotionally, mentally, and physically. Sometimes the pressures of life can create anxiety, and it’s wonderful to have a partner who can help you calm down and make you feel that things aren’t so bad.
  3. Help each other appreciate your successes. Much of the time we ignore the little victories that happen every day. Instead, we focus on all the things that went wrong. Support one another in seeing the good things in your day (and each other) and talk about them.
  4. Offer your assistance when it’s needed. If your partner needs to mail a letter or make a bank deposit and seems a little stressed about it, offer to do whatever the task is. It’s such a little thing, but it can make a big difference.
  5. Learn to listen to each other. Most of the time, just talking about what’s going on can make us feel a lot better. Sit down with the one you love and lend him or her your ear. Allow your mate to vent about whatever is bugging him or her, and watch as the cloud lifts.
  6. Give in on the little things. It will make your partner feel loved and make it easier for the big things to go the way you want. You can think of it as giving your loved one the gift of your time.
  7. Do your partner’s chores. The next time you’re driving your partner’s car, fill it with gas and maybe get it washed. If the hamper is full of clothes but doing the laundry usually isn’t your job, do it anyway and make your mate smile.
  8. Make suggestions, but don’t make demands. When you tell others to do things your way, usually they will have a hard time taking it in. By making suggestions, you are leaving what to do up to your partner while giving him or her another idea to work with.
  9. Trust your partner to do the right thing. When we don’t trust our mates, it makes everything more difficult. You need to be in that place where you have the unconditional faith that your partner will always act appropriately. If you need counseling to make this happen, get it.
  10. When your partner isn’t feeling well, take care of him or her. A little chicken soup and a kind word can really make you feel better.

Life can be difficult, but with a partner who is willing to lighten your burden, it can be a sweet experience too.

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Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

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