Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

Look Ahead to Strengthen Your Relationship

Talk about the future to show you care.

Do you and your partner ever make some time to just sit and talk about where you see your life going? Do you discuss what you are thinking of getting accomplished this year as well as where you’d like to be ten years from now?

Getting through the weekly responsibilities takes a lot out of most of us. Evenings usually last only long enough to have dinner and maybe watch a little TV or play a game. It’s hard to muster the mental strength to deal with anything very serious. And by the time the weekend rolls around, many people are simply too exhausted to enjoy it while others fill up their weekend with activities, which is fine. With so much going on day to day, it’s totally understandable if setting aside time to plan for the future feels like one thing too many.

Yet the truth is that futurizing with your mate is a healthy activity that will make you both happier, because as you look at the future, you’ll be creating things to look forward to, and that’s where happiness comes from. One thing that successful relationships all have in common is that the couples in them make plans for the future, both near and long term. Making plans builds a bond and a stronger sense of security in our hearts. We all have dreams and desires that we want to share with the people we love, but if you don’t talk about them and create a way to make them happen, you will just live life in your head.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Planning for the future with your partner is not hard at all, once you begin. You might start by picturing yourselves living together well into your golden years and talk about what life will be like for the two of you. Sometimes you can see your own future by just looking out your front door.

People of all ages like to walk in my neighborhood. One couple we have come to admire uses high-tech walkers to take their daily constitutional. These folks are living the way they want to live. They are enjoying themselves and maintaining their quality of life. Who could want anything more? Being like this couple has become one of our goals.

When you get older, being able to live on your own and being able to get around will become primary issues. You need to make plans for how you can maintain the lifestyle that you want and what you will do if that’s not possible.

If you plan to be with your partner for the long haul, communicating about what you want and need beyond the next trip to the market or to Disneyland is something you need to do. One benefit of this process is that when something in life changes the way you live, you can get back on track much more easily.

Being able to talk about your future together, sharing your hopes and dreams for the rest of your lives, is a true gift. Enjoy it.  

Dr. Goldsmith's Website

Dr. Goldsmith's Facebook

Dr. Goldsmith's Tweets

Dr. Goldsmith's LinkedIn

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

more...

Subscribe to Emotional Fitness

Current Issue

Love & Lust

Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?