Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

The Importance of Romance

Romance has got to be one of the most fun and least executed activities in many relationships. With all the distractions we have in our busy lives, it seems many couples never find the time to be romantic, and that can lead to love’s demise. Read More

One thing I noticed in my

One thing I noticed in my brief foray into romance, is that often what gets defined as romance is simply "spending money". The book you noted, 1001 Ways to be Romantic, is one such. I recall reading the book and noting that I didn't personally know anyone that could afford be romantic by his definition. Alongside that, ways of being romantic that don't involve a load of cash aren't always recognized as romance by the intended recipient.

I agree with this

I agree with this entry!

Romance doesn't always have to entail spending money. My boyfriend routinely does things which are romantic and warm my heart and just make me feel so much tenderness for him. Some recent examples are me waking up to find him doing the dishes unprompted, kissing the top of my hand, and the biggest romantic gesture - and admittedly, he spent SOME money on it - buying a USB flash drive that he then proceeded to fill with a 115 song playlist customized for me, as well as folders full of funny and interesting charts, videos, GIFs, movies, video shorts he made of himself on his iPhone (in one he declared his love for me in a tongue-and-cheek way, it was very cute), a funny folder that opened into a million subfolders that finally culminated in a collection of 10 bonus tracks, all of them clocking in at over 10 minutes (including a six-hour Flaming Lips song!)... everything about this flash drive was customized to amuse me and make me think. Everything on it (with the exception of the new homemade videos he'd taken on his iPhone) were pre-existing on his computer or he had come across it before and simply Google-searched it to find the image or GIF again to upload onto the flash drive. The cost was really just that of the flash drive itself, and many people have those lying around the house anyway. What was so romantic about it was the utter obvious investment of time and thought he put into it, into customizing it for me. He has bought me flowers before but this was truly the most romantic thing anyway had ever done and I was so very touched. "High Fidelity" conveyed it so very well; true romance need not be an expensive gesture. It can be as simple and as beautiful as a mixtape:)

Now that IS romantic, and

Now that IS romantic, and you're a lucky lady! :-)

Couldn't agree more

Romance isn't about the amount of money that you spend on someone, it's about the thoughts and making them feel like the most special person in the world to you. So just showing up with a floral bouquet or a small gift to let them know that you were thinking about them is a part of being truly romantic. Even just a random text message, email, or card can do wonders.

That's exactly what I'm

That's exactly what I'm talking about...romance is about focusing on the other person and showing that you care about them, and some commercialized prat like you comes along with a blatant advertisement and tries to make it be about how much $money$ a person spends. I'd rather a boyfriend brought me a freaking dandelion than pay you for a "bouquet".

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Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.


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