Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

Valentine's Day - 10 Ways to Enjoy it More

Give your heart, don’t buy one

The commercialism of Valentine’s Day turns a lot of people off. This is a holiday that celebrates love, and it shouldn't cost you a thing. Here are ten things you can do for your relationship on Valentine’s Day that don't involve cards, candy, or flowers.

  1. Relish it. Taking pleasure from every ounce of your relationship will make your life tastier. All you have to do is take a moment to think about it, savor what you feel, and let it in.
  2. Believe it. Feeling deep within your core that you are with the right person is a total turn on. It makes every difficult thing you've gone through understandable, because if you hadn't been there, you wouldn't be here.
  3. Feel it. Allowing yourself to feel the love you have in your life with every fiber of your being is a total rush. There is nothing else like it on earth. Just holding each other and feeling your partner's embrace is totally life enhancing.
  4. Trust it. Let go of your fears and have faith in the one you love. Involving your whole being in your relationship is the only way to get the most out of it. Really participating by opening your heart will give your life a greater sense of purpose.
  5. Bestow it. Giving it all you have will make your partner feel loved. It will also make you feel that you are giving back to the most important person in your world. Think about all the good you have, and then ask yourself how important your mate was in helping to get it.
  6. Build it. Make your relationship stronger by spending the day doing something productive with your partner, like setting goals, talking about feelings, or just problem solving. These are all relationship-building activities.
  7. Enjoy it. Luxuriate in the warmth that comes from being in a loving relationship. It may help to remember times in your life when you were alone, and lonely, to help you appreciate what you now have.
  8. Adore it. Feeling cherished and admired by the one you love can be empowering. Fanning these flames stokes your relationship fires. Kissing the lips of your life partner every time as if it were the first time will keep bliss in your bed and love in your heart.
  9. Treasure it. Nothing is more valuable than a loving relationship. No amount of money can buy happiness, and a home without love, no matter how grand, is nothing but an empty shell.
  10. Experience it. Jump in with both feet and firmly plant them in this garden that you and your mate have lovingly created. Nothing blooms so beautifully as a flower that you have grown from seed and tenderly cared for with your hands and heart.

This day is all about giving to your partner from the heart rather than your wallet. Take the risk of opening up and sharing your feelings. The rewards will be well worth the effort. 

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Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

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