Emotional Fitness

Harness the power of emotion to deepen your love with your partner, become more successful at work, and more

10 Tips to Re-Invent Your Relationship

Doing things differently makes for a stronger bond

Sometimes the idea of trying new things with your partner can seem daunting. The truth is that doing things differently will not only keep your relationship healthy, it will also stimulate your mind and heart. Here are some ideas:

1. Let go of the past. Holding on to the pains of yesterday won't allow you to forgive your partner or yourself and that will keep your relationship from growing to the next level. Forgiveness is really a gift you give to yourself.

 2. Create your fantasy vacation. Even if you don't have the time or money right now, the process may be just what you need to inspire yourselves. Just looking at travel brochures and talking about what you'd like to do gives you a little lift. Creating the dream is the beginning of making it come true.

 3. Take a class together. Try CPR (and hope you never need it), cooking, dancing, golf, or tennis. Learning something new together will make you both feel more connected and help you discover parts of your relationship that may have been hidden.

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 4. Give each other a make over. Go to the mall and pick out some items that you would like to see one another wear. Just the fashion show itself will be a blast. Have fun with it.

 5. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Returning to that moment will help you appreciate where you are with each other now. If you can, go back to the place you first met and relive your first date.

 6. Have lunch together once a week. Think of it as a daytime date. Many couples don't get to visit each other during the day. If you have the opportunity to make it a regular thing it will add a positive dimension to your relationship.

 7. Do the unusual. Enjoy the full moon, throw a costume/theme party, or visit an orchid farm. Doing out of the box things that can make your relationship phenomenal.

 8.  Do the lazy weekend thing. Pick a day and just hang out with the paper and the one you love. Spend a day as human beings rather than human-doings. It's amazing how revitalizing lazy days can be (and I know this is the exact opposite of tip 7).

 9. Ask your partner 20 questions. Do you know his or her favorite movie? How about his or her favorite song? There are probably a few hundred facts about your partner that you are unaware of. Asking him or her about these things will make them feel cared for and make you both feel closer.

10. Make the normal days extra special. One of the ways we look at our lives is through special moments. Leave your partner a love note on the fridge, in the shower or in a pocket. Send them a card at work or leave a loving/sexy phone message.

As the years go by, the memories of these little moments will tell your love story in a way that nothing else can.

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

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