Emotional Fitness

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10 Tools for Preventing Infidelity

These tips will help your relationship remain faithful and secure.

I believe in doing whatever it takes to keep a relationship healthy and connected. Sometimes that means dealing appropriately with situations and people who could damage what you have built. These tips will help your relationship remain faithful and secure.

1. Make sure the lines of communication are always open. If your love life is not working - talk. If you have a problem talking about it, you will have a problem doing it. So deal with the awkward moments and discuss what is and isn't working.


2. Do your best to be romantically available to your partner. This doesn't mean that you need to compromise yourself, it means that you need to find a balance and techniques that work for both of you. If any sexual trauma has occurred, I suggest you seek counseling.


3. Always behave appropriately when in the company of the opposite sex. Don't flirt or tell sexual jokes. Remember that alcohol reduces your inhibitions and can cause you to act out unconsciously.

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4. If you constantly think about cheating, get some appropriate help immediately. Find a licensed therapist who specializes in sexual issues and book some sessions. If you are a sex addict it will take more than an hour to fix the problem. You should also try sex addicts anonymous.


5. Remember that sex is not dirty. (Unless you want it to be). If your partner wants to try something new, at least consider the idea. If you open up to doing things a little differently, you may find that you enjoy it.


6. Plan time for intimacy. Have romantic date nights and getaways, both of these activities go a long way to keeping the magic alive. Make the entire purpose about romance, and yes, that means no golf (unless you're playing together).


7. Don't put yourself in the position of being alone with someone you are attracted to. If someone other than your partner turns your head, it's your job as a loving spouse is to look the other way.


8. Don't hang out with friends or co-workers who are being unfaithful. Would you want your kids to hang out with "swingers"? The same holds true for adults. If your partner knows your friend is cheating it's natural for the thought that you might be doing the same thing to cross his or her mind.


9. Say, "I love you" often. Look into the eyes of the person you love and tell him or her that you are in-love and want to keep on being in-love. If you feel that you've lost the feelings tell your partner you want them back. If you both put your hearts into it, you'll reconnect on a deeper level than ever before.


10. Treat your partner like he or she is special. Making your partner feel special is an essential ingredient to making the life-long love recipe work. When someone makes you feel loved, you are very unlikely to look for it anywhere else.

Preventing infidelity isn't something you have to worry about as long as you and your partner stay communicative about your desires, your dreams and your devotion.

 

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

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