Emotional Fitness

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Doing Valentines Day Differently

Don't make this just another Groundhog Valentines Day

Don't make this just another Groundhog Valentines Day

Are you looking forward to Valentine's Day or are you apathetic about doing the same old thing? You don't need to do a repeat performance every year to make the day special. In fact doing it differently will actually make it more special. If you are tired of flowers and dinner out try being creative and doing something totally outside of the chocolate box.

For example this year Valentine's Day falls on a weekend so the possibilities of what to do are greatly expanded. If you have planned a trip make it extra special by asking the hotel to put flowers and champagne in the room. For an extremely significant response also ask them to put flower petals on the bed (this works best if the flowers are very fragrant such as gardenias or white ginger.)

If you've always bought a card how about making one this time or at least writing a special note to your partner proclaiming your love. This would be considered a gift of the heart and that is always a winner.

Sometimes it's scary to be creative, thoughts of "what if my partner doesn't like it" may come up as well as feelings of being pressured to do it at all, let alone right. So rather than just going along to get along, listen to your heart. What is it that your partner would truly appreciate? You really have to get out of your box to make your partner feel truly cherished, just doing something that you have promised to do around the house may not count as a deeply thoughtful gift.

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It doesn't have to be wildly complicated or expensive. What about taking them to a movie you normally wouldn't pick. For a man to have his partner with him while a secret agent is detonating special effects would make him feel loved. For most women, holding their partner's hand while watching a love story would be terribly romantic.

There are also many great activities in the County that we are fortunate enough to be able to enjoy at this time of year when most of the U.S. is under several feet of snow. Have you ever been to an orchid farm or taken a bubble bath together? What about a ride in a hot air balloon? For those who would like to keep their feet on the ground, a picnic in the bedroom can be wonderfully romantic and fun.

Any day that celebrates love is a wonderful thing. But many people object to being forced to show their feelings just because of a date on the calendar. That's understandable, but ignoring Valentine's Day is akin to forgetting a birthday or an anniversary. So something needs to occur on February 14th to insure that no one's feelings get hurt.

Whatever you choose, just celebrating your love for one another is really the point here. Do whatever you feel will tickle the fancy of the one you love and you will most likely hit a home run. Trying to ignore something that is so ingrained in our culture is difficult and may make your partner feel as if you don't care for them. Gifts don't have to be costly, small and cheap is fine (small and expensive is better) but doing something, almost anything, rather than nothing, will work.

So celebrate love in a way that will make you remember this holiday in a positive way. There isn't enough love in the world right now so any additional that you can give to a deserving friend or partner is a gift to everyone around you.

 

 

 

 

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, columnist, and radio host. His latest book is The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.

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