After a few decades of doing the Valentine's thing, I have observed that men and women differ widely in their expectations of the day. Okay, so this isn't big news, but I find that what some otherwise levelheaded gentlemen think about 2/14 is at the very least an amusing insight into the male mind.
Forget about Cupid, the specter of Valentine's Day looms over the psyche of a few good men like the Grim Reaper, and guys all over the country are shaking in their combat boots.
What doesn't help is that men have been piling up resentment for decades because a greeting card company decided that February 14th was going to be a day when they need to be a combination of Romeo, Casanova, and Charlie Sheen. Your average guy's only wish for all this effort is that she remembers this night for a long time and that he gets lucky.
This marathon of love begins with modern man hunting for the perfect card like a caveman hunting for the woolly mammoth. He must stalk his prey, reading at least a dozen to touch perfection. (Unfortunately, for a few guys, there isn't a card that says, "I really, really like you, I may even love you, but the thought of marriage makes me want to join the Foreign Legion.")
Hopefully, he has avoided making this year a contemporary Valentine's Day massacre by remembering to make reservations, weeks in advance, at a restaurant with linen tablecloths and napkins.
A fun way to keep it simple, dine at home and score some extra points is to order a heart-shaped pizza. It's actually the biggest delivery night of the year, so you're not alone.
A man's next quest is buying flowers, which have somehow magically tripled in price over the past 48 hours. The wisest of the rose-stalkers know that supermarkets are where the best deals are.
Most women are pro-romance, and Valentine's Day is something they look forward to. If it just becomes another chore for the man she loves, it takes the joy out of it. It seems to me that most women would be happy with a homemade card, a sunflower, and some Sprite. They understand that they may not be going out with Bill Gates, and even if it isn't a lavish evening, it can still be a sweet experience.
We remember most Valentine's dates fondly; a bad one can stick in your memory banks like a computer virus and really do damage to a relationship. There's a reason Cupid is a guy; he reminds us that Valentine's Day is not just a girl thing, it's a couple thing. Happy Valentine's Day!
