It's that time of year again. The time when children are giddy with anticipation, when the lights twinkle, when you can't find a parking space at the mall to save your life, and time to figure out what to buy your partner for the holiday.
I have an unorthodox suggestion. Give yourself to your partner. I don't mean wrapping yourself up like a present (which is a good trick if you can do it). I mean giving them the gift of time with the best parts of you.
Think about it, the holidays are usually hectic and we all have issues around them. Our moods change and sometimes our evil twins come out to cast a Grinch-like shadow on the days. Instead of giving in to your mood, make yourself be totally present for your partner and family.
What that means is simply just putting them first. Behave how you know they would like you to, compliment them, be excited and grateful for any gifts that come your way. Tell your partner to put their feet up and relax while you prepare the evening meal or at least be their assistant. You can also bring them coffee while they are still in bed in the morning. It may seem like a little thing but it has a huge impact on the receiving party, and for those of us that are challenged in the kitchen it's a whole lot easier.
Being totally present for your partner is a gift that only you can give and it's the type of loving act that keeps on giving. Your partner will remember your kindness for a long time to come and the gift will be returned in many ways.
It is also a gift that you give to yourself because you will actually feel the love you put out returned. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to tune into an amazing experience. If you have never chosen to put your own desires aside and just unconditionally give to those you love, you have let yourself miss one of the things that makes life worth living.
So often we give into our own issues during holiday season and may try to act happy when everyone knows were actually feeling grumpy. Put the blues behind you for the day and show up for the ones you love. The added benefit here is that you will also feel the positive effects and your mood will lighten up.
This does not mean putting on an act, it means reaching down to the depths of your soul and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps if necessary. If you need motivation, just imagine what it would be like if the one you loved was not around. How lonely would that be?
We seldom reflect on how fortunate we are to have love in our lives. We tend to block out or "forget" those times when we were feeling hurt or abandoned at important days in our lives. Spending a little time being appreciative of how fortunate we are to have a loving partner and family or friends fills our hearts with the desire to give back. Let that desire lead you to making this a truly giving year by totally giving yourself to the ones you love.
Being in a loving relationship is a gift. Treat is as such, and savor the joy that comes with knowing you will be seen as a wonderful partner who gives the most treasured gift of all.... your best self.
