Embracing the Dark Side

Very insightful post, and so true. elaine

Certainly when it comes to grief, their are so many faucets to that emotion that the listener of a griever may be overwhelmed with how to respond. It's far easier to be silent and give no advice for the listener. It's so hard for the griever to take any advice-especially in the face of great, unexpected loss.

Unfortunately, I have an aunt who uses humor for every situation--a laudable way to live most of the time. But upon the death of my stepfather, she actually asked my mother how much was the insurance money. She went on to frequently bring it up during any conversation as if to point out that there was a bright side to his passing.

I agree that the griever may need to try to be more empathetic to the fact that no matter how clumsy, those around them (us) are trying to be helpful in the uncomfortable face of our own mortality. But, I want to take out this time to remind any reader that it's doubly important to be aware of tact and circumspect in the event a loved one of someone you know passes.

Excellent post. I agree with you completely, having been bereaved myself recently.
But why do people have a need to advise? Is it because they don't know what to say? Is it because of "discomfort"?
I learned a lesson from my own grief and bereavment-You have the right to remain silent! It will be much appreciated.