The wise French have a saying: “Qui s’excuse, s’accuse.” He who apologizes accuses himself. It is true that there are many of us who feel perpetually guilty and spend our time scurrying around apologizing, often for actions that are not particularly egregious. This simply gives others the opportunity to accuse, and does not really help us change our behavior.
Then there are those who are always accusing others. They are not able to alter their behavior because they believe everything is somebody else’s fault. It is because of their mother or their father, or their boss, that they are failing. Often these are the really guilty ones who have found the convenient method of projecting their guilt and accusing others rather than facing up to their own behavior. As the gospel says, “ Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
I remember how my first husband, who was having an affair, would enter the room, when he came home late after some tryst or the other. He would look around to see what he could criticize: the carpet needed vacuuming or there was a spot on the sofa, so that I was immediately on the defensive and started apologizing for minor misdemeanors when obviously it should have been he. This was not very helpful to either of us.