Don't Try Harder, Try Different!

Simple strategies for handling anxiety and stress.

by Patrick B. McGrath, Ph.D.

Living Neutral

It really is all about perception.

Published on October 19, 2011 by Patrick B. McGrath, Ph.D. in Don't Try Harder, Try Different!

So, we left off with perception. This is usually where people try to challenge me. They try to tell me that there really are things that are anxiety provoking. They might say that having a gun pointed in your face is anxiety provoking for anyone. But, that is not really true. If you do not know what a gun is, then you may not be scared at all. Or, if you are in clown act, the gun might actually shoot water or confetti. Or, you might also have a gun pointed in the face of another person—maybe even the person pointing the gun at you, and you will not want to show any fear in that situation or the other person will win that battle. So, even this situation, which most people might actually fear, is not something that everyone fears.

Perception really is the key driver of anxiety. If you perceive that something is frightening, then it is frightening, and if you do not perceive that it is frightening, then it is not frightening. It is really that simple.

So, here is a stress management exercise for you:

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Find something that stresses you out, and then go observe others doing that or ask others how they approach that same thing. Get as many opinions as you can and make as many observations as you possibly can. Then rank all of those observations from one that you think will be the easiest one to do to the one that you think will be the most difficult one to do. Starting with the easiest option, give it a try, either alone or with someone else, and see what it is like to actually do the thing that you fear.

If you cannot do it right away, then at least break it down into steps and try to take a few steps toward doing what you fear. And, if you need help, write about what you are doing in the comments section, and we can all give you encouragement as you face your fear. Remember, we are not just going to try harder at what you have been doing—we are now going to start to do something different.

Good luck, get going, and write about it!

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Tags: anxiety, comments section, encouragement, fear, fears, good luck, perception, stress management

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Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., is the Director of the Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital's Center for Anxiety and OCD Program, president of Anxiety Centers of Illinois, and president of the OCD-Midwest.

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