Control is an illusion. There, I said it. Accept it and move on. You are not in total control of anything at all. You can have some control of some things, but total control is not achievable. Take these examples - you are not in total control of your own mind. If you were, then you would not think of a pink elephant when I tell you not to think of a pink elephant, but I will bet you money that you thought of one. You are not in total control of the way you feel. If you were, then you could just stop being anxious and stop worrying about everything right now and never be anxious again. And, you are not in total control of your behaviors. If you were, then you could stop blinking your eyes while being awake for the next 5 hours. So, we are not in total control of our own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors - therefore there is no way we will be in control of anyone else's thoughts, feelings and behaviors either. Total control is an illusion.
Control is attempted by worrying, and worries can feel like control in two ways. One way is that we think if we worry about something, then we can influence it. For example, my parents would wait up for me when I started to drive, and when I got home they would ask if the car was OK and if I was OK. I would say yes and then my mom would say "Well, it was a good thing that we were worrying about you" Implying that it was her worries about me that kept me safe. This was, of course, not true, but you can see how a correlation was made. Each time she worried, and I was OK, she learned that worrying and my safety were related. So, worries, got to be paired with safety, and then made the leap to worries make safety. This is a common leap that people make, but it does not work.