Don't Delay

I would be curious to understand how those workaholism personalities also correlate with the personalities that are procrastinators.

As at least in me, i see them to be 1 in the same personalities.

Ive been in settings where I am by all right - a total workaholic, totally the polychronic multitasker and always doing something... having a reocruing thought go through my head - "if not me, then who, if not now, then when?" with no definitive answer other than I'll have to do it my self and just jump in and get it done, or to create it.

but at the same time - in a different setting i tend to struggle with procrastination as well.

To me it seems to be similair personalty traits would be responsible, but in different settings they can manifest themselves in quite differnt ways. ( also the nature of the task i believe is important, as i think wheather it engadges a persons strengths ( those things that energize them) or not could be meerly what is the deciding factor about wheather they become workaholics or procrastinators..or a weird combination of both)

I agree with your argument that a "third underlying variable - a weak sense of self" may be at work in workaholics, overcompensating for a low self-esteem. Which makes me wonder how often workaholics are dx'd w/depression and/or GAD. Could workaholism be a "good cover" for depression and/or a tool to relieve anxiety? Do some people w/MDD and/or GAD turn to (over)work, while others may turn to different addictions, such as drugs or alcohol?

It seems that workaholism could manifest from a number of underlying variables.

Loud noise, stress and anxiety,narcissism, and workaholism.

how do you deal with stress that relates to this topic?

and to others: co-workers, partners, families, business associates, waiters and waitresses (ask me, I once waited on high-maintenance business people), hotel clerks, airline reservation agents. If we define community as the web of connections we weave as we move through our lives, narcissist/perfectionists tear that fragile structure.
Thanks for this powerful and insightful piece.

Interesting! Much comment here is about 'someone else'. This makes it 'assuming' and 'judgmental'. The only thing that matters is whether the person in question feels that 'how they are' is useful or not! Things may be affecting their relationships - but it's only perfectionism or workaholism if 'they' think it so! If I love my work - might I be engaged, consumed, interested, in flow and focused? We should not label people as one thing or another unless 'they' concur - get their perspective first!

I think we could get caught in the, "it's all relative" trap if we say it's up to the person to judge whether they're a workaholic. They're inside their workaholic bubble so of course it seems ok. But we could also say it's up to the individual to decide whether they're an alcoholic. Certainly the individual has to make the final decision that they're going to actually do something about the problem, but a lot of relationships can get trampled on until the individual does see that they have a problem. Many behavioral issues don't seem obvious to the person who has them, it's only when their relationship to the outside world is taken into account, that it becomes more obvious there's a problem.

A workaholic could also conclude that they only care about their work and not the relationships they participate in (naturally because they don't gleen any self-image satisfaction from their personal relationships). To that I would assert that it's the other people in the relationship who have to make their own decision i.e., my partner/friend's work is more important than our relationship.

Let's face it, in general humans are not very objective when it comes to an awareness of their own behavior. People inclined to exhibit roadrage probably think they have a good reason for it. In a vacuum, workaholics like any other behavior issue, have it all figured out, unfortunately, they don't actually 'live' in the vacuum.

Good article Dr. Pychyl.

" The only thing that matters is whether the person in question feels that 'how they are' is useful or not!" - one of the commentators said. SORRY! I left my workaholic/narcissistic husband 2 years ago - and, sweetheart, MY feelings as a spouse count plenty! What you said is SO typical of a narcissist - "the only thing that matters is - ME!"
When a person marries, then they can't think only of themselves- they must think of the needs of their spouse as well. If not - then that person should stay single. As with most addictions, workaholics get even more wrapped up in their work over time - and ignore their spouse. I never felt as alone as I did in my marriage. My husband is a professor, and I used to tell him "I just can't compete with a pile of books". So true. To them, a marriage is simply two separate people who share a house, etc. He never used the word "we". Every possession was "mine", he said. I suggested compromising re: our issues, and he looked at me like I was mentally ill. I have a million stories I could tell, but the upshot is that since I left, I have never felt better.
Unfortunately, workaholism is the only addiction for which a person gets praise. So the addict keeps going after that carrot, because there is always some prize to win, some journal article to get published, etc. I mean, what could my husband get for wanting to share loving time with me? In his mind - nothing.

I have a friend who works 14 hours a day and two hours on his farm every single day. He seems to have no time for me or sends up to three texts a day or a week sometimes if he has a signal. He has no time for me anymore yet used to text all day everyday until this job came along. I am finding I have to drift away before it makes me ill. We have had a long distance friendship/relationship for over 30 years. Yep, no commitment. It came close once. I have raised it very calmly and clearly time and time again, but it's taken as me telling him off so he goes silent on me and tells me I'm telling him off. He says I have told you before "I work ........" It's put back on me and I feel guilty, but my gut tells me I'm not in the wrong at all. I haven't done anything but give love, texts, gifts unconditionally. I get the silent treatment for up to a month, then it's all sweet again. Usually if I make the contact first. It's like nothing ever happened. Til he does it again and it is him. He's a taker, not a giver. I have given many gifts, some expensive, emails, enough texts to sink a ship sending me broke, not him. He's a $2 millionaire. He says it's for his kids which is lovely. Not doing it for us and I have told him that. I'm not after his money, no one is getting it, but his kids. Maybe what he's doing is a good head sense for business????? But we only live once - he's losing so much in life, including this friend who adores him unconditionally. I am the only one who has stood by him. I make time for him and I'm broke. I'm so giving to everyone. He's making millions and fits me in with the odd text. Some may say "he's not that into you", but he is. He has had so many opportunities to walk and always comes back. We're stuck like glue. Nothing seems to end this 30 year friendship, no matter how heated it gets. He is so self absorbed in his work there is no time for me. But he does make time for others when there's something on and because of that, again I'm on the back burner. He has to now deal with that function or that friend or visitors to the house. What about me?! I just don't get it. I have tried being patient, sitting back, distancing myself (absence makes the heart grow fonder), but it's not working. I'm not listening to my gut. Two weeks ago I got two texts - one saying how hot the weather was and the other to say "home now good night". He couldn't spare me three minutes of text chat before bed???? Work is over, surely you could chat a bit or say "sorry I'm so tired, I'll catch you tomorrow". I replied "You clearly can't make time for me so just forget it, I won't be treated like this anymore". I heard nothing for two weeks. I texted on the weekend feeling I had lost him (dah, I gave in) and he replied "you said forget it, so I did". So you just walk away? No fight to keep our precious 30 year friendship? I'm devastated, he knows it and still nothing. He texted a few times, but no empathy. He's out their working working 16-18 hours a day and sleeping with not a care in the world. I'm a basketcase and can't stop crying. I took up part time work to see more of him which didn't eventuate. I've seen him three times for coffee in four years for about two hours max. Through all this meanness from him, I can hardly work or sleep. How does HE do it, how does he get on with life? Has he no compassion or empathy at all? I did wonder if it was narcissm, but someone said that is a love of oneself. Long winded, but I hope this helps researchers or confirms to me he's a workaholic that has deep internal issues going on.