Don't Delay

looking at the tiny rush of relief most procrastinators get when they choose "not" to act. I'm fascinated by the role neurochemistry plays in behavior - consider the relief workaholics get when the just keep going. This is not to say that early trauma has not set us up for how we behave, but we are, at a cellular level, animals and at that level we are going to flee what doesn't feel good. Check out my blog, She Bets Her Life on PT. I'm exploring neurochemistry and much more.

Thank you so much for you ongoing contribution to this subject.

I find the hardest thing about the "loop" of procrastination is how it erodes, or confuses, my ability to even know when anything is pleasurable anymore -- i.e. whether or not I truly want to do something. This elemental question -- do I want to pursue this task/project/goal? -- is completely overlooked in my loop of procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism. And I think that's because any task that I'm looking forward to tackling is eventually made unpleasant because of my thought and behavior patterns.

I'm trying to bring more self-awareness to this pattern so I can break out of this exhausting loop of avoidance. Part of this self-awareness is reading your blog. So, many thanks!

That was fantastic, thank you!

That post really struck a chord within me, as it was so relevant. So much of my procrastination is based on feeling overwhelmed...it's great to know that there are ways to deal with these feelings. It's amazing how the mind can really block one from action...but equally amazing that the mind can change its thinking and "unblock" itself that way!

I'm the guy that they always go to when they have to have the job done. Dunno why but I just powered through those negative feelings and did what was needed. Heads down approach I guess you'd call it. And by any measure that most corporate types would use I have been very successful over the decades.

Except I've come to realize that it hasn't been for my benefit. Getting the job done on time is great for the bottom line of the company, but it has mostly left me tired. Because guess what? They expect you to hit the target again and again?

So I've only just started to learn the real lesson of letting more stuff slide.

The problem is that there is a concrete advantage to procrastination: you get to enjoy life more. And as it turns out there will still be stuff to do tomorrow anyway, so who are we fooling?

Great post. Since I read the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns, I have used CBT principles in my own life. I was suffering from a 5 year depression caused by a failed business and, consequently, a failed relationship. Heavy stuff. But as I refuted the negative thoughts I held, I uncovered two basic beliefs that were causing the relationship blues. One was the belief that I was solely responsible for the success of the relationship. The second was that my partner *owed* me lifelong loyalty. Of course, these resulted in guilt and anger respectively. The great thing was that once I identified the activating beliefs, I realized I didn't believe these things at all, and the negative visualizations, thoughts and verbalizations lifted almost immediately. Today, as I am trying to get myself more motivated to finished jobs for the business I started, I came across your article. Almost immediately I identified the limiting belief: "Things are not finished until they are perfect". Ha ha. Why don't I just make life difficult for myself? How can anyone feel good about handing over "incomplete" work? Thanks, now I have something to work on. You have a new reader.

I have been struggling with procrastination since undertaking the writing of my doctoral dissertation. In fact, I came across this blog BECAUSE I was procrastinating!

this reminded me of a passage in Thomas Hardy's novel "Far From the Madding Crowd". Not the exact quote but the idea: looking up at the sky on a clear winter night admiring the constellations and bright stars in the northern hemisphere - this character has the feeling of being transported to worlds away and being filled with sense of wonder and mystique. The author does a beatiful description of the feeling and adds: that all this could be derived from a single human frame - which is but a such a slight thing in the context of the gigantic scale of things and the extent of wonder they create.... truly the landscape choice you speak off..

thanks !

this reminded me of a passage in Thomas Hardy's novel "Far From the Madding Crowd". Not the exact quote but the idea: looking up at the sky on a clear winter night admiring the constellations and bright stars in the northern hemisphere - this character has the feeling of being transported to worlds away and being filled with sense of wonder and mystique. The author does a beautiful description of the feeling and adds: that all this could be derived from a single human frame - which is but a such a slight thing in the context of the gigantic scale of things and the extent of wonder they create.... truly the landscape choice you speak off..

thanks !

I used to be indecisive but now I am not so sure any more!

I'll read it later. ;)

I procrastinate on critical items when I am afriad of hearing a devastating negative response.

I procrastinate when I must have help to do it right and do not.
I am overwhelmed by doing things require legal assistance or at least a skilled advocate, alone... and l know alone the likely is a bad response which will seal my already lousy fate.

I procrastinate when doing something is going to trigger memories of anxiety provoking events.

I procrastinate on critical items when I am afriad of hearing a devastating negative response.

I procrastinate when I must have help to do it right and do not.
I am overwhelmed by doing things require legal assistance or at least a skilled advocate, alone... and l know alone the likely is a bad response which will seal my already lousy fate.

I procrastinate when doing something is going to trigger memories of anxiety provoking events.

Scott,

Thanks for the great article! I will not waste any time in asking you to look at this wave painting that I did for our web site, healingwheel.com. It relates to surrender which is very often a key to action I think:

http://healingwheel.com/2010/01/passing-through-the-wave-video-by-mark-a...

Thanks again!

Mark Alvin

Thank you for clarifying what I've been wondering about for the last few days as hours of entrepreneurship slip into hours of Facebook and solitaire. Parker Palmer is a great inspirational writer, and your article has captured beautifully the gentle tone that quilts the unrelenting resolve of his message. There's work to be done....and I'm now on it!

"it's common for us to focus on short-term mood repair in favor of longer-term goal pursuit. "

Not "in favor of," RATHER THAN. Mistakes happen, but this mistake completely reverses the meaning of this sentence! Where are your editors?

Yes, this mistake certainly affected the meaning. Thanks for pointing it out.

As I wrote, borrowing from Leonard Cohen, (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/201011/words-healing-perf... )

"there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

Thanks for your light!
tim

I actually have this article bookmarked on my toolbar.

I do scientific research, and the synthesis/writing stage can terrify me. I'm a gifted writer, but the worry that I might be wrong somewhere--that there's a bug in my code or I've missed some critical piece of theory that makes everything I've said utterly derivative or redundant--can be overwhelming. I haven't received any scathing reviews (yet) in my career, but the echoes of the lackluster responses reverberate every time I sit down to work. All these feelings can make research exceedingly painful and consequently slow.

I'm trying to remember to come from the place of curiosity, hope, and honesty. It's so, so hard as a postdoc with the clock ticking.