I think the issue of envy occurs when the mother has some unresolved desires/ unattained personal goals, or depression in her own marriage, and the feeling of powerlessness to address these marital problems.
I think that if a mother has led somewhat of a fulfilling life, and believes in the process of her own ongoing spiritual and psychological evolution, then there is no need to envy anyone, especially your own daughter. Of course there are times when our happiness for someone else has traces of envy, especially if we are feeling particularly vulnerable that day or that week, or if we have suffered one too many losses in the recent past.
I have always worked hard at conquering my own feelings of envy, because I feel envy is generally an unproductive emotion, unless I am using those feelings to figure out what is lacking in my life. To feel envy, implies that we are somewhat less happy for our daughter than is possible. I think that I genuinely and thoroughly enjoy other peoples happiness, knowing that happiness is often times fleeting.I think I also can feel happiness for others(with the absence of envy)because I have confidence that I can generate my own happiness, if not now, then tomorrow.

Dear Dr. Terri Apter:

Greetings! As you may know, I am a psychologist and the author of many books, including Women and Madness (1972) and Woman's Inhumanity to Women (2002) which contains three chapters about the mother-daughter relationship.

I am writing because you seem to have misunderstood and even reversed what I wrote in Salon about mother-daughter envy. My point was, sadly, quite opposite from the subject of your article. In my instance, the daughter, Rebecca Walker, seems to have based an entire career on criticizing and shaming her mother, the great, and greatly talented, Alice Walker. Indeed, like some other historical daughter figures, which is what I wrote about in my article at Salon, Rebecca has embraced more traditional views and castigates her mother for not sharing them. The mother remains silent. It is true, that many mothers also envy their daughters' youth, sexuality, ambition, and freedom. I have written about this. But not in the context of the unfortunate and one-sided Walker feud.

Sincerely yours,
Dr. Phyllis Chesler

My mum; everytime I be myself with my OWN opinions, I get a vibe from her, this vib telling me that he's depressed becuse I'm seemily, not like HER. She dosn't think about anything, to have an opinion. he i mentaly handycapped, I think so. Thn if I show som vonrability, she's ine, she's on top ofthe world lol. thought it was just soemthing to do with HER.