Should all teens have a bar/bat mitzvah?

Although I'm Catholic I go to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs. A lot! My wife is Jewish and my son had his bar mitzvah last year. Actually, there were more Jesuit priests at his bar mitzvah than Rabbis!

I wish that all religious traditions offered some variation on the theme of a bar/bat mitzvah. It is a remarkable opportunity for a young teen to carefully learn much about their religious tradition, have the chance to lead many parts of a serious and sacred religious service, and give a thoughtful sermon reflecting on scared scripture. It is an opportunity for a community of family, friends, and others to welcome a teen into the religious and spiritual community as an adult with support but also with expectations and responsibilities. For a wide variety of reasons, it is a welcoming and embracing moment that sends the message to the teen that there are many adults taking an interest in his or her development. It is a chance for the youth to become a more responsible and thoughtful member of the religious community. As they say..."it's takes a village" (perhaps it actually takes a small city!).

I have been very impressed with the effort, thoughtfulness, sacredness, and love expressed through the many bar and bat mitzvahs I've attended. Sometimes these events get the reputation for being over the top with lavish parties (e.g., have you seen the movie, Keeping up with the Steins? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0415949/). I have certainly attended some very lavish bar/bat mitzvah parties (they can be great fun if you don't have to host or pay for them!). But when the event is taken seriously and the party is thoughtfully done in a low key way, these moments are very important and could perhaps be done in other spiritual and religious traditions too.

Doing the right thing for our youth means finding a way for them to be welcomed and embraced into the adult community and giving them an opportunity to learn and better understand their spiritual and religious tradition offering their reflections on important spiritual, religious, and ethical messages. I suppose that if we expect much from our youth in terms of ethics, thoughtfulness, and responsibility, we might actually get it. If done well with the focus on the event and message (rather than on the party) bar/bat mitzvah events could be a very important part of the transition from youth to adulthood.

So, obviously not all teens can actually have a bar/bat mitzvah since only 2% of the American population is Jewish. However, perhaps all religious and spiritual traditions could pull a page from the Jewish tradition playbook on this one and offer some variation on the theme.

What do you think?