I am very much looking forward to this blog. I completely agree that there are too many "bad divorces" out there and am excited to know that research is being done that may offer concrete insights into the divorce economy and challange views that divorce need be messy and heavily lawyered to be fair. My ex-husband and I just finalized our divorce last week and the whole process was pretty easy. We only hired one lawyer to draw up the papers, decided on our own how to divide things, and remained cordial throughout. I had friends who freaked out about our layed back way of handling things and insisted that I needed to get my own lawyer and make sure I wasn't "screwed over." I think just because a marriage doesn't work doesn't mean you have to question everything you know and love about your former spouse. I knew my husband was a person of integrity and that I wouldn't get "screwed". The whole thing was quick and cheap and allowed both of us to get on with our lives.

I had a good divorce. Two, actually. But only my first involved a child--the point of this comment.

My best advice--my only advice--for parents facing divorce is to be rational. Be reasonable. Keep your emotions in check and keep your child's emotions in mind. I was truly blessed in that my ex kept our son's emotional and psychological interests in mind when we went through our split. To this day, my son is perhaps the most well-adjusted teenager I've ever encountered (and I include myself in that comparison). Our split wasn't entirely painless, and I know that my son, on some level, wishes his parents were a married couple. But I have no regrets about our decision. Alex is a healthy, well-adjusted young man, and I will soon enjoy the pleasure of his joining me in Chicago (mom lives in Florida) for a weeklong visit. (A Cubs game is definitely on the docket.)

...thank you, thank you. I am considering a divorce myself and have gotten a lot of negative advice about the process. I know there has to be a way to get through it without unnecessary contention, but there is so little information about there (I have been looking).

I am also a counselor in training and am curious about the roles that mental health professionals play in this process. This might be a career consideration for me at some point, so any information pertaining to that aspect would be relevant to me.

I look forward to future posts.

Very interesting analysis. You should check out this article written by a professional mediator and arbitrator about the contemporary divorce trend and how people are not working at their marriages and simply playing the divorce card. You may find it interesting. http://www.freemychild.com/pdf/fm_disposabledivorce.pdf

I was beginning to wonder!

So many websites on divorce are in the "how to nail your ex before he or she nails you" vein.

Divorce is painful enough when everone behaves well, so it's amazing to see people devote so much time and energy pulling the other down.

My theme is that there's a lot to learn about who you are, life, and how to move forward coming out of a divorce.

Why not?

Nice site.

Shaun