First of all, I congratulate you that you still have sit-down dinners with your family. Secondly - "Doesn't he know better?" - right, that's what I say, though I can't bring myself to say it to his face. Why? And should I try? If I tried to teach him the error of his ways, would that mean that I was being foolhardy or bigotted? I feel like I would be condoning a great sin if I let him vote the way he wanted to (pretending that I could stop him anyway).

The relationship with your husband during this election cycle probably would have gone better had the presidential debates themselves gone better. Here's a glimpse of how they should have gone from Writing Frontier at

http://writingfrontier.com/2008/10/04/thats-not-debatable/

We'll be in the same boat this Election Day, Michelle. We have a difference of opinion on politics once again, but it's no surprise. For our first two years together, we kept a journal in the living room to capture those rare moments when we agreed on anything.

The issues at stake in this election matter a lot, but they are not what matters most. Love does. It always has. It always will.

Carville and Matalin seem to know this. They use humor to foster love in the face of disagreement. If humor isn't your top strength, use perspective (as a nation, we've survived the past 8 years and the 8 before them, so perhaps the next 4 won't really make or break this nation). Or forgiveness. Or optimism. Or rejoice in the authenticity that allows each of you to vote your conscience in spite of the effect on your spouse.

Neither candidate has all the answers to all the issues. No matter who wins, we've got some real challenges ahead of us. If we are lucky enough to have love in our lives as we face them, we are very lucky indeed.

Michelle,

I was glad to hear that you wrote this blog adn I hvae read it. I am going on a local TV station on election day to discuss this very issue regarding marriage. Of course, God is not a Republican nor Democrat, and many want Him to be. And, we are all very passionate about this coming election because much is at stake for the nation, from both perspectives.

However, this is one of those areas where our sense of USness is more important than politics. I remind myself that in case of loss, I would rather have had my wife by my side and a deeply loving connected relationship rather than her on a political party such as mine.

James Carville and his wife understand the nature of love. We can be different individuals but keep our USness (the essence of the relationship) foremost. My encouragement, agree to disagree for the sake of US. When US wins, everyone wins. Even the kids!!!

My wife + I are discussing a divorce over politics at this point. She a staunched, Bush can do no wrong republican. Me a staunched, Bush has screwed things up so badly that it will take 50 years to fix it democrat.

It goes beyond bush/obama/mccain. It's a fundamental difference in ideaology that makes it impossible for us to get along.