Divorce Busting

Musings from an unabashed marriage saver.

by Michele Weiner-Davis

No Stone Unturned

Would leaving no stone unturned keep a marriage therapist's marriage intact? Read More

New Year's Resolutions for 2011?- A picture is worth a thousand words

IF you want to make 2011 the best year ever, pay more attention to your relationship than you do your bank account, waistline, or drinking and smoking habits. Maintaining marital fitness offers benefits that go far beyond other resolutions that fade soon after the ball drops. Read More

10 Marriage New Years Resolutions for 2011: The Divorce Busters Edition

Most marriage New Year's Resolutions are written for couples in which both partners are willing work toward their goals together. Unfortunately, many spouses don't have that luxury. If you're going about saving your marriage alone, please, read this! Read More

Physician Heal Thyself

Fall always makes me pensive. But this year, the ping felt deep inside has taken on extra meaning. It marks the two-year anniversary of my mother's fatal car accident.

"The best way to avoid the mommy madness mistake is to remember that the single best thing you can do for your children is to put your marriage first." Read More

How to Get What You Want (Without Complaining)

There's a difference between asking for what you want, and complaining. Although complaining may occasionally work for you, it's not doing your marriage any favors in the long term. Eventually the other spouse will shut down. The following post walks you through how to ask for what you want in a more productive manner. Read More

Friends Aren't Enough

Ok, I really know nothing about why Courtney Cox and David Arquette are calling it quits, but that doesn't stop me from having an opinion. Read More

How Can You Tell When a Marriage Is Over?

divorce, save marriages, marriage problems Your marriage is in trouble. You don't know what to do . You want unbiased professional advice, "Can or should this marriage be saved?" But in reality, is there such a thing? Read More

What's Up With Al and Tipper Gore? Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Here we go again. We are endlessly fascinated when high profile marriages crash and burn. It offers us opportunities to speculate, criticize, engulf ourselves in smugness, or in humbler moments, recognize the humanity in all of us. But most of all, just like the outrageously popular show, American Idol, it gives us something to talk about and weigh in on. Read More

Don't Ask, Don't Tell Your Family

Though it's natural to confide in close friends and relatives when your marriage go astray, think twice. It may come back to haunt you. Read More

The Calm Before the Calm

If you have been following my blog, you know that I usually write about marriage. Today, I am going to veer from my path and write about something big that happened on my vacation with my husband in Hawaii. Although the experience certainly brought us closer, I don't recommend it as a regular method for reconnecting. In a moment, you'll see why.

Romantic dinners at candlelit restaurants, Godiva chocolates, two dozen long-stem roses, sentimental Hallmark cards- the stuff Valentine's Day is made of.

But what if your relationship is on the rocks and Valentine's Day is just another painful reminder that your life isn't what you hoped it would be?

My last post contained 11 tips to help boost sexual desire. If you are someone whose sexual desire needs no boosting, that doesn't mean that you get to sit back and wait for your spouse to change. In fact, you are equally responsible for changing your attitude and how you handle this issue in your marriage. This post will offer you 9 tips to approach your spouse in ways that will increase the likelihood that she or he will want to be close to you. Read More

11 Tips for the Spouse With a Lower Sex Drive

This is the first of two posts that addresses the most common sexual problem for couples- a sexual desire gap. This post offers 11 tips for the low desire spouse. Read More

Ten Unexpected Resolutions for Becoming Richer, Thinner and Healthier in 2010

I've got some eye-opening news that might make the usual New Year's resolutions of becoming healthier, happier, richer (or at least less strapped for cash) more of a reality this year. Follow my advice and you won't only lose weight, quit smoking and feel more energetic, you will actually live longer.

As soon as I heard on the news that Tiger Woods smashed his car after leaving his house at some ungodly hour in the morning, I knew we were in for a tabloid blitz with speculations about the possible reasons for such a hasty exit. Then, once allegations of infidelity started to hit the airwaves, the inevitable happened- all eyes turned to the intriguing Tiger Woods mystery. Inquiring minds want to know, "What did he do?" "Why did he do it," "How often did he do it?" "What does this mean for his marriage and more importantly, his endorsements?" So many questions, so little time. Read More

How to Choose a Good Marital Therapist

Seeking professional advice for your marital problems is no guarantee things will improve. In fact, many people have told me that their so-called marriage therapy even made things worse. Most therapists are well-meaning, but not always qualified to do marital therapy. That's why I want to offer some guidelines for you to consider should you seek professional help to improve your marriage. Read More

Look Before You Leap: Divorce Isn't All That It's Cracked Up to Be

Even when desired changes occur as a result of divorce, they are not without unintended consequences. Read about the unexpected fallout of divorce.

Have you ever said, "You started it," to your spouse when things have gone awry? Read this post to understand the real causes of problems in marriage. An individual's behavior often remains a mystery until you stand back and look at the bigger picture. Read More

X-treme Reminders

Sometimes you have to come preciptiously close to death to truly live... Read More

Reeling From Infidelity

Every once in a while I step back and think about the messages I give to couples in my practice, seminars, keynotes and in my writing. To be sure, I have been a psychotic optimist about people's ability to survive whatever comes their way in terms of marital challenges. Read More

The Marriage Map

As a long-time observer of relationships, I can tell you that, like children, marriages go through different developmental stages and predictable crises. But because people are unfamiliar with the normal hills and valleys of marriage, these predictable transitional periods are often misunderstood, causing over-reactions. Those who manage to weather these universal stormy periods usually come out the other side with greater love and commitment to their spouses. That's why I want to offer you a Marriage Map. Read More

Too Broke to Break Up

Call me an optimist, but in the midst of all the horrendous economic news, I see a silver lining. Despite people's lives being threatened by job loss, foreclosures and having trouble making ends meet, increasing numbers of couples are opting to stay together and make their marriages work. Why? Read More

"Why Can't You Say It This Way?"

Do you ever find yourself in the midst of heated conversation when, all of a sudden, your partner says something that just takes your breath away? But as you mull things over, you realize, "It's not what he's saying, it's how he's saying it," or "If she would just word it differently, I might be able to respond less defensively." Read More

The NEW New Year's Resolution

When nearly one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, why is it that people are so busy worshipping the Personal Improvement God/dess- wanting to be thinner, richer, healthier and smarter- rather than focusing on the improvements we can make to our important relationships in 2009? Read More

Love Interrupted

Today, I will take out time from my marital musings to write about a personal experience so profound, that it has nearly stopped me dead in my tracks. Read More

Can This Marriage Survive the Election?

This upcoming election has brought out the worst in my husband and me. It's probably because there is so much at stake. Although I have tolerated our differences fairly well in the past, an opposing viewpoint on these candidates, about these issues, at this time feels simply untenable. Doesn't he know better? Read More

Infidelity Leave

You've heard of Maternity Leave. You may have even heard of Paternity Leave. But if you're clueless about the term, "Infidelity Leave," it's not surprising. There is no such thing. But if I had my way, there would be. Read More

Confessions Of a Mother in Mourning

If you've ever been to Boulder, Colorado when the Aspens turn brilliant gold and the maples show off their amazing orange and magenta hues, you would think that Fall would inspire nothing less than ecstasy. But for me, despite my awe of Nature in action, Fall means fall, which my thesaurus defines as plunge, descend, plummet. Yup, that's me. And when I tell you why, I know that it's not only me; I'm in good company. Read More

Leave Elizabeth Alone

I hope I don't get asked one more time as to why in the world women stand by their no-good men. Frankly, I'm kind of tired of that question. And honestly, since reports of wayward behavior of politicians and high profile celebrities seem to surface with some regularity, it's hard to imagine why we're so surprised when women stay. They do it all the time. But we are surprised. Read More

Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, is the Director of The Divorce Busting Center in Boulder, Colorado and Woodstock, Illinois and founder of divorcebusting.com.

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About Divorce Busting

The Divorce Busting Center is your top resource for gaining the skills necessary to save your marriage, stop divorce, and learn how to heal from infidelity. Internationally renowned relationship therapist, Michele Weiner-Davis, has hand-picked and trained a small group of marriage therapists around the country to form the Divorce Busting Telephone Coaches. For more than three decades, Weiner-Davis has been specializing in taking marriages on the brink of divorce and restoring them back to fully functioning, loving relationships.