You all know how I'm always trying to drill those stupid disability misconeptions out of your minds? Well, stand-up comedian Ryan Niemiller has actually found a better way to do it. His A Guide to Dating for the Handicapped takes the humor route, and I couldn't have said it better myself...
As someone with a handicap, I have had my fair share of troubles finding love. Luckily, all of my non-handicapped friends have been so kind over the years to help me along the way, and tell me how I, someone with a handicap, should date. I've compiled, in conjunction with Ally "Wheels" Bruener, this helpful list for anyone else here that might have a disability! I present... the Guide to Dating for the Handicapped!
*Only look for others [people with disabilities].
*Never try to date up. You will fail.
*Make yourself look as normal as possible. If someone is stupid enough, they may think you're normal.
*Never complain about the fact that you don't have anybody. You're handicapped and supposed to be an inspiration. Don't be selfish.
*Everyone that hangs out with you is paid to do so. Just accept it.
*Don't ask for anyone to set you up. No one is going to be that mean to their friends.
*If you are disabled, you must be asexual.
*If you really want a date, try getting it setup through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. It's your best bet.
*Just accept the fact that a pat on the head from a little old man will be the most action you'll see.
*Take some classes on counseling: You'll be the one everyone comes to with their problems.
*If anyone actually offers to sleep with you, decline. It is a fraternity/sorority initiation prank. Or your parents paid them.
*If you don't want to die a virgin, begin shopping around for the best-priced hooker immediately.
*Never let your quest for a relationship get out to your family: They'll reassure that it just isn't practical.
*Your non-handicapped friends are right - you're just being silly.
*Society isn't as harsh as you think. You're just being overly critical.
*Every member of the opposite sex you talk to will tell you there is someone out there for you - it's just not them.
*You just aren't trying hard enough.
*You're trying too hard. Just let it happen.
*You want a family?
