Disabled and Thriving

Overcoming obstacles in an able-bodied world.

by Melissa Blake

Disabilities & The Dangers of First Impressions.

People make assumptions about those with disabilities. They're mostly wrong.

Published on February 25, 2010 by Melissa Blake in Disabled and Thriving

Living life and thriving with a physical disability, I think I've caught people off guard more than a few times. Some are surprised I'm not homebound, instead actually working and getting out in the world.

And that got me thinking about those times in our lives that we let a relationship pass us by just because of a preconceived societal notion we've let develop in our heads. Why let yourself miss out on getting to know a great person based on a 30-second or a 45-second or a 60-second meeting? Aren't you really depriving yourself of something potentially awesome?

For example, here are some first impressions I'm sure people have about me (and FYI, most of them are incorrect):

I'm mute
I have this weird tendency to be shy around people I don't know too well (I know; it's weird considering a large part of my job as a freelancer involves talking to people I don't know on a regular basis). And a guy I don't know too well but want to get to know better? Well, I've been known to just sit there and stare, sometimes getting all fidgety and awkward and nervous. On the rare occasions when I have been able to muster the courage to open my mouth, I've invariably said the wrong thing or some stupid little comment that makes me wish I'd just sat there and continued to keep my mouth shut. Permanently.

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I can't do anything for myself
Oh my, this one gets me every single time. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at people and could tell just by the look in their eyes what they were thinking: Why should I bother getting to know this girl? She must not be able to do anything for herself. Sometimes I swear they're picturing me bed-ridden every day.

I have a mental disability
This has always been one of my disability pet peeves. People look at me, see the red wheelchair and assume my mental faculties are impaired too. It's sad, yes, but it happens. I've learned to accept it. It doesn't mean I like it, though.

Now, the next logical question is this: Are these conclusions truly accurate reflections of me?

NO. NO. NO.

Now, look deep in your heart for a moment. You're only hurting yourselves here. I'm not saying I'm never been guilty of the dangers of first impressions, but I've learned through my disability that everyone deserves a second, third and even fourth glance and chance.

You never know. That person just might be the person that changes your life forever.