Well, Thanksgiving is over- did you come away with any stories or lessons learned? That your family is crazy and you're the only normal one? That you're a little crazy and your family is just boring? That you still don't understand Jell-O salad?
My partner and I went to both of my respective sets of parents' houses in Michigan for Thanksgiving. Family gossip. Awkward silences. Jell-O-salads. But, there was a Starbucks.
And a major dose of humility...
We drove back to Chicago on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, first stopping at Starbucks in a neighboring town. Last coffee for the next 200 miles. My partner ordered a non-fat grande something-or-other and I got a hot apple cider (How Thanksgiving-y, right?). We felt our good humor waning when it took us nearly 10 minutes just to reach the drive-thru window to place our order. But when it took another 15 minutes to pull ahead for our hot drinks, it was hard to feel thankful for a single thing. Sandwiched between cars in a skinny lane, there was no escaping it.
Our conversation inevitably drifted towards the unknown: What could possibly be taking so long up there? What's wrong with those people? We should never have come here. And onward and so forth. Things in our car were turning ugly.
We finally pulled up to the window, anticipating the first glimpse of the employee who did this to us, when she popped her head out and cheerfully said, "Your drinks were paid for by the car in front of you. Happy Holidays!"
You have never seen two people recoil with shock faster than we did. She closed the drive-thru window and we looked at each other, our jaws resting on our laps. Stunned. Embarrassed by our assumptions. Schooled by a random act of kindness. "You know, they look really busy in there," I said. "It looks like they're all working really hard and there's a long line inside, too."
"Yeah, they're trying their best. I think we should keep this going and pay for the drinks for the car behind us." My partner said.
"What if he ordered coffee for his entire office?" I asked.
"We'll do it anyway." My partner replied.
It turned out the guy behind us ordered just one tall peppermint mocha. He sat in line, just like us, for nearly 20 minutes for that one small drink. Our thoughts shifted away from the negative assumptions: Do you think he got as impatient as we did? Do you think he'll buy the drinks for the car behind him? Do you think this chain of kindness will continue all day?
Continuing on our drive, I silently thought about how negative and incorrect assumptions are made under times of stress. And how by being more mindful or present-minded, I could have avoided the judgment and frustration. Concepts I write about and so whole-heartedly believe in, yet didn't practice in those moments at the drive-thru.
And another lesson: That despite what we know to be true, we don't always put that knowledge into practice. We aren't perfect and from that imperfection come the most important lessons. Tall mochas, Jell-O salad, and humble pie.
Brad Waters is a freelance writer and inegrative wellness expert based out of Chicago. Look for his upcoming ebook in early 2012. To be notified of the release date and other news, visit www.designyourpath.com.
