"Hey, you're a Psychologist, teach me to dance in a sexy way"
A Journalist wrote to me: "I would like to visit you, talk about your research and findings, and then go to dance in your company. My problem is that I cannot dance. I am aware that you are not a dancing teacher, but you have successfully made research about how to dance in a way that attracts the opposite sex. It has been my fear to look ridiculous on the dancefloor for a long time, and finally I want to learn how to dance in a sexy way - at least in a way that does not make my wife laugh any more."
Now that was a request I couldn't ignore. I tried, but he sent me another dozen emails. He arrived at my lab and I measured his fingers (he was not a high testosterone man), and his dance confidence, which was on the floor. We spoke and I watched him dance. It wasn't pretty. We danced together, which was even less pretty. He copied me, I copied him and we spoke, while we danced, about random stuff. As he shed his tension, fear of movement and lack of confidence, small, natural, beautiful movements started to make fleeting appearances as he moved with the music. I told him, but he didn't believe me.
Several hours later we were in a London nightclub with a photographer snapping on every beat. This was the test. If he could dance here he could dance anywhere. It was a hostile environment. I was at least 25 years older than everyone else and I looked like a lost dad who'd arrived too early to pick up his kids. It felt odd, but I was there in the pursuit of science. Could I use psychology to make the journalist look sexy? We limbered up to some Black Eyed Peas and although we were both a bit self-conscious we lost ourselves to the music, the rhythm and the atmosphere.
And then it happened. Kerbang! I looked around and my journalist was dancing. He was dancing with a young woman and they were smiling at each other. They stayed that way for another 20 minutes. I've no idea whether she found him sexy, but she was certainly enjoying dancing with him. Now, either he was a ringer or he'd learnt something. He'd learnt to let go of some of that stuff that was getting in the way of him looking natural and fluent when he danced, and that is all you need to look sexy on the dance floor. Let go and let the movement come through you. Your hormones and your genes will do the rest.
