CWD (Couples With Disabilities)

The adventures of a dyad with disabilities.

by Pattie Thomas, Ph.D. and Carl Wilkerson, M.B.A.

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Irregularities in sleep, which accompany many disabilities, can wreak havoc on the social life of anyone. But only to those who live in Las Vegas is the resulting culpability based on civic duty! Read More

Twenty

The authors have endured a lot since their wedding on October 10, 1992. That's the point: they've endured it!!! Read More

Medicine Part 1: To Med or not to Med

Use of medications for chronic illnesses improves the lives of sufferers even though they may not cure anything. Telling chronically ill people that their condition is their fault and that lifestyle changes alone will make them better is not only unsupported by existing data, but dangerous, resulting in more dependency upon caregivers and lower quality of life. Read More

Space and Empathy

We moved at the beginning of May into an accessible apartment. This, with other factors, is making our lives better. We cannot help but wonder if the world would be a better place if social empathy became the guiding principle for not only design but all human interaction. Read More

A Time for Every Purpose

Recent criticism levied at Newt Gingrich raises questions about monogamy in the context of chronic health conditions. Marriage should not make the daily lives of either spouse infeasible. Openness to renegotiation of the marriage “contract” allows CWDs to find dignity in the face of sexual incompatibilities. Read More

Happy National “Appreciate This” Month, Part 2

In the US, home care is considered a burden that is not covered by anything but the most expensive of insurance coverage. The profit motive dictates that long-term care be more expensive; there is little profit in supporting home care. Universal healthcare recognizes the great savings and resources home care provides. Family caregivers need a people, not profits, approach. Read More

Happy National "Appreciate This" Month, Part 1

November is National Family Caregivers Month. Appreciating us is not enough. Caregivers need financial, social and personal resources. It is upon our backs that many of the “sponsors” of this month of appreciation make their profits. We hope that if you take the time to recognize our efforts, you will also take the time to listen to us. Read More

Good Moaning! Good Moaning?

When chronic pain is an issue, the enemy of sex is fear. Trust is the key to fearlessness. The worn adage, "yes means yes, and no means no" has never been more important. In order for each partner to be able to trust the "yes," each must respect the "no." In order for that trust to exist, it is important that neither plays any games with this clarity. Read More

Who Gets to Be Sick Today?

If couples’ issues are amplified by illness, dealing with dual chronic illnesses makes them grow exponentially. Money, housework, sex and intimacy are complicated by feelings of being a burden, being inadequate, wanting to care, but being unable to do so. We will explore all these. However, you may find that our disabilities are the least interesting things about us. Read More

CWD (Couples With Disabilities) Bloggers

Pattie Thomas, Ph.D., is a medical sociologist and author of Taking Up Space: How Eating Well and Exercising Regularly Changed My Life, a sociological memoir. more...

Carl Wilkerson, M.B.A. is an artist, author, mathematician and business analyst who has lived with a chronic illness for the past three years.

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About CWD (Couples With Disabilities)

Information about relationships and disabilities and/or chronic illness often assumes one member of the dyad is the "caregiver" and one needs care. Since most people will suffer from some sort of disability at some time in their lives, this seems presumptive. Carl Wilkerson & Pattie Thomas each face disabling chronic illnesses. Each strive to provide care to the other when flare-ups occur. While this dynamic colors everything in the relationship, you may find being disabled the least interesting thing about them. They share their experiences to help other couples with disabilities.