Cusp

How it feels to be on the brink of a life passage, from youth to middle age to death.

Delaying Parenthood May Come at a Cost

A remarkable cover story in this week's The New Republic says that our great natural experiment in late-life parenthood is not necessarily going to end well. Read More

Directives for young women

In this day and age of global competitiveness it is important for young women in their 20s to stay on track.

So here is what you need to do, young ladies.

While in high school behave and get really good grades so you can get into a good college. College is expensive so you'll probably need to take out a large amount of student loans. Don't drink or have sex because then you will be labeled a whore and somebody will post something about you on Facebook and your soiled reputation will be permanent.

Once you graduate from college, young ladies, go find yourself a career opportunity, which in these days are few and far between. Work hard at your new career opportunity because you have large pile of student loans to pay back and that is going to take years.

But, wait, there's more. As a young woman your fertility is fleeting, so while you work and pay down those loans you have to find a marriageable man. The number of men who are equally educated, and willing to work hard at a job is steadily decreasing so this won't be an easy task. You may find that after years of dating your potential mate will tell you he's either just not into your or not ready for marriage so you will have to begin the mate-searching process several times over.

Once you do find a mate, young women are going to have to learn to "embrace their femininity", so your new husband can feel like a man. That really means the young women are going to have to learn to take a back seat to most major family decisions, decision-making is the man's job. Now if you want to make a family decision go ahead, but you'll have to make your husband think he made the decision so be prepared to play massive amounts of mind games. However, regardless of who makes the family decisions it will be the wife that will do most of the household chores including cooking, cleaning and laundry, so plan accordingly.

But the young ladies will still need to keep working hard at their jobs because not only will those student debts still need to be paid but there will be the added expense of car loans and mortgages. But, don't worry, you'll have less energy to go out on the town because after marriage you'll weigh more and have fewer friends.

But since you are in their 20s they still will need to start popping out children during this time, because of these fertility issues. Young women better have good health insurance from that employer because nobody wants to be saddled with expensive hospital bills.

But once the kids are born the young women will be doing even more household chores AND most of the child rearing duties, all the while working 40 hours per week desperately trying to maintain their careers.

If this sounds like a party to you, then go for it. There is nothing like societal pressure to make people believe they are doing the right thing.

Amen.

Amen.

The sistas can do it for themselves.

And you get to come away with all those spiffy feminist merit badges.

Otherwise, in the inteasexual competition between women over male resources, the older women have really hosed you younger (and more attractive to men) ones, with nothing but half-truths and lies about men, relationships, love, sex, etc.

"Peace will come again. It will come when woman ceases to believe and to teach all manner of evil of man despitefully." - Almroth Wright (1912)

In the meanwhile, men can download pictures of beautiful naked women doing everything we want (and not have to listen to a single one of your inanities), but women can't download men doing a single thing you want. Ha!

You used to have by far the better half of the deal, but Betty Friedan ratted you out and wrecked your scam when she informed men what childlike parasitic weaklings you really are.

So true! Why have we as

So true! Why have we as women been saddled with carrying old AND new societal expectations while men have yet to evolve into the kinds of partners that will help create the balance required to maintain a happy modern household? I am actually a stay at home mom and will not be able to be so for much longer and I shudder to think what my marriage is in for when I go back to working outside of the home! I have trouble getting my husband to pull his weight as it is. There needs to be a radical change in the face of the workforce in order to provide better balance for families where both parents work. Nevermind the fertility issues!

It's the fault of women's

It's the fault of women's lib. This is the price of "equality" men don't have to take care of you anymore. In the old days you went to college to get that MRS degree and your husband went to work while your career was in the home. When you women started demanding to work and be treated like men, you lost their protection and now you have to work hard at two jobs instead of one. Or so goes the conservative rhetoric.

yup, it's all our fault

30s is considered delaying motherhood? Unless you have very early menopause in your family history, this is a bunch of cr*p. Society loves to see women tied down to house and kids and articles like this are meant to give us a jolt to get us back on the "right track." Any woman doesn't choose the two kids/two years apart/mcmansion/SUV/full-time job route is constantly asked to explain and justify herself.

Tain't necessarially so!

I was 40 and my wife was 38 and we had been out of Grad School for 5 years with our MBAs when our son was born. Maybe we're the exception to the rule, but our beautiful baby boy has become a very handsome, well liked and respected CPA. He had tons of friends in HS and was chosen Most Talented, was an Eagle Scout and a National Merit Finalist who graduated in the top 2.5% of his very talented Senior Class was selected as the male youth of the year by the local Exchange Club beating out another National Merit Finalist who was the Quarterback of the Football team and attended Yale. Our son went a more career oriented direction and attended his first and only choice State University completing a 5 year BBA/MPA program in 4 years and enjoyed a fun social life with an International Co-Ed Multi-Cultural Fraternity rather than the typical Greek Fraternity. Did I mention he has tons of friends and a very active social life and travels all over the world exploring different cultures. He seems to have now found a nice young lady who is equally smart and well liked. I will grant that our careers were well along and we devoted a lot of time to his development and shared a lot of his life growing up. Strangely, based on the kinds of study's you guys do, he doesn't seem to object to that. Matter of fact he appreciates it. I always thought that older parents made for more even-keeled and settled children. In our case it certainly has. My wife and I are both one generation off the farm and pretty mainstream American "mutts". Maybe its all in the "jeans" instead of in the genes.

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Robin Marantz Henig is a science journalist and co-author, with her daughter Samantha Henig, of Twentysomething: Why Do Young Adults Seem Stuck?

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