The differences between porn addiction and sex addiction are considerable, as reflected in these self-reports:

Sex addict (age 35): I was feeling tired and low from the previous night's looking for anonymous sex. So I get back online. A woman is looking to hook up anonymously. She tells me to come over, so I grab some condoms. On my way, she texts me and tells me to pick up a pizza. WTF? This is weird, but the prospect of anonymous and novel sex is just too much at this point. However, fearing I might get robbed, I tell her that I would like to meet her first. The door opens up and it's very dark inside except for the light of a computer screen. I can't really see her, but I walk in anyways. She says, "Look at what I am wearing. Sexy isn't it?" But in a deep voice...it's a dude! And SHe says, "This is okay isn't it?" I'm thinking that I should just buy her a pizza out of kindness and get the fuck out of there. Then I hear someone moving in the back bedroom. I get super scared and bolt home, somewhat happy to not be dealing with any more drama and to have some money left. I just use porn and go to sleep.

Porn addict: I'm 23. I first tried to have sex when I was 18, but I couldn't get it up. I had been masturbating almost daily for 6 years, generally with tight grip and erotic visuals, often multiple times a day. I've had sex with four partners in my life and I never reached orgasm with any of them. In short, my sex life has been disappointing. Indeed, my last relationship ended because of erection problems. She accused me of being gay. I knew that wasn't true and yet how was she to believe me if my body didn't seem interested in her?

Porn addict (age 25): Is it possible to be porn addict but not a sex addict? I know I cannot control my porn use, nor masturbation with fantasy. But after sex I'm more satisfied. I sometimes survive a week or so without porn. I also wasn't subject to childhood abuse, so I don't think I'm escaping from past memories. Quite a lot of sex addicts I know from SLAA meeting are also substance abusers. I have never had cravings for alcohol or drugs, even though I drink too much once in a while. I have no shame about my porn use and never did. Also, Patrick Carnes says that the main belief of sex addicts is "No one would love me if they knew me as I am". I know it's not true because my partners and friends know about my addiction and I've never experienced any negative reaction from them because of that. Yes I do have problems around people and I'm not very confident, but I believe it's due to overwanking and too much time in front of computer vs. interaction with real people. Porn for me is just a way of escaping from reality and coping with stress—the most effective and most exciting vehicle to disconnect with reality. I honestly don't think that I'm a 'sex addict.'

Here are some ways porn addiction differs from sex addiction:

1.     Sex addiction involves real people; Internet porn addiction involves a screen. Porn addicts are hooked on pixels/searching/constant visual novelty. In contrast, sex addicts are hooked on novel partners, voyeurism, frottage, flashing, risky sex, and so forth; porn may or may not supplement other behaviors.

2.     Internet porn addiction is more akin to video-game addiction than sex addiction. It often does not spill over into other sexual activity. In fact, many heavy porn users cannot become aroused by real women—even women they find sexually attractive. Comparing a porn addict to a sex addict is like comparing a World of Warcraft enthusiast to a Las Vegas high-roller.

3.     Internet porn addicts often comment that they would like a steady girlfriend, or, if they have a mate, that they want to respond sexually to her. Sex addicts want a variety of partners. They are hooked on novel people rather than novel pixels.

4.     Sexual performance woes are a common complaint among Internet porn addicts. We typically don't hear about severe sexual performance problems among sex addicts.

5.     Porn addiction appears to be increasing as access to high-speed porn during teen years increases, although some older guys also report developing the addiction after switching to high-speed Internet.

In sum, a sex addict's pursuit of living people is over the top, while a porn addict is largely missing out on 3-D action. In effect, porn proves "sex negative" for many users.  How could such a bizarre situation arise?

Internet porn: a most unnatural natural reinforcer

In recent decades, innocuous natural rewards like food and sex have been joined by some very unnatural kin. These imposters trip the same neural triggers as the natural rewards our brains evolved to pursue. Our limbic brains love them—and are inclined to overlook their drawbacks.

For example, presented with endless varieties of cheap, tasty, high-calorie food, 79 percent of adult Americans are overweight, and some thirty percent of us are addicted to these goodies (obesity), despite negative physical, social and psychological consequences. "Addicted" is a medical term here, not a metaphor. It means the consumer's brain has changed in the same fundamental ways a substance addict's does.

Sexual stimuli have morphed too. For at least half a dozen years, those with high-speed Web access have been able to consume free, ever-novel online erotica. Like today's junk-food, it is uniquely stimulating in the annals of human history. Result? In young males, porn use nearly equates with online access. Indeed research data collected some 5 years ago already revealed that 9 of 10 college-age men (and about one third of the women) were using Internet porn. Old models of addiction risk are based on substances, not on today's supernormal versions of food and sex, so most experts are still taught that all sex addictions are rare.

Alas, if online forums are any indication, today's porn users are increasingly complaining that (1) they can't stop viewing, and (2) it is interfering with their development of normal dating and mating abilities. Just how many of today's online erotica users are becoming addicted no one actually knows, but Internet addiction rates in adolescents are jumping. A Hungarian study recently reported that one in five adolescents are already hooked. (Adolescent brains are showing corresponding addiction-related changes.)