Cupid's Poisoned Arrow

I was always aware of desentization that porn vids give, so I mostly looked at pics. I already stopped watching porn to test how it goes this week, but I won't stop masturbating once or sometimes twice a day.

Here's what another man wrote today:

The link between porn and ED couldn't me be clearer for me. I'd follow this cycle:

Stop enjoying sex and even masturbating to porn (but do it anyway) -> give up porn -> get better erections and more pleasure out of masturbation and sex -> think I'm cured -> go back to porn -> go to step 1

During the bad times, even when I did manage to get it up for a real woman, that sensation just wasn't there. I wasn't enjoying it, just doing it because I though it it would help to get me back on track.

Now I can see that the opposite is needed: give up all orgasm for a while, rebalance, and take the psychological pressure off myself.

I am not even going to talk women for the first month. Normally I talk to almost every woman that catches my eye wherever. But I just need to put this part of my life on hold and just hang out with friends and family for a time.

This article hit the nail on the head. I am 24 years old and have been battling ED for years now and only recently attributed it to porn addiction. I tell you what, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster while trying to figure out what the problem was. What makes the whole thing so difficult is that you know that you should be aroused by "real" women but for some reason you can't. Then you try to consciously make yourself aroused which is basically impossible and once this fails you spiral into a depression/anxiety. Physicians really need to be more aware of what is going on with this. Good article.

It's tough to talk about these things, but the sooner the word gets out about how porn can desensitize the brain and cause ED, the happier a lot of people are going to be!

Marnia,

If possible I would like to maybe discuss my issue with you via email. Perhaps you can shed some light on my own problems as I am still trying to figure it all out. Let me know of a good way to contact you if this would be allright. I believe you have access to my email address.

Awesome article. I don't even want to add anything, I just thought you should know that a dweeby college kid thinks your article rocks. I'm aspiring to be a family/marriage counselor and it seems like this article accurately describes a very legitament problem for a lot of people.

I'm sure there are people who see themselves in this article, but I am a 43 year-old man, who has been looking at porn regularly since the age of 13 or so. I can as easily maturbate to Playboy now as when I was 15 (though certainly not as often), even though i watch more extreme porn on the net (nothing that extreme: no torture, rape, animals, kids, just healthy adults enjoying each other...)

I have noticed a slight interesst in 'new' things (mostly seeing new girls) but no dependance and absolutely no negative effect on my sex life with my real-life, long-term girlfriend (who also occasionally enjoys porn with me.

This sounds a lot to me like some bad consciences meeting up with some subliminated (or not?) judgement on the part of the psychologist. Once again: I am sure some people experience this, but to make this anecdotal information into a trend..? Seriously.!

Well, first of all I appreciate your taking my response seriously, in the sense that it was given. Of course, not being a professional, I can only speak from my own experience.

One factor which didn't quite fit into my first comment, but which I find interesting, is that at least one comment comes from a man who has no current lover. In fact, he now plans to go out and get one. i am not at all convinced that in such a case masturbation is the cause and not the symptom of not having a lover. I am glad he feels better an empowered, yet put in mind of Dr Kellogg and his gloves to prevent masturbation and loss of essence.

Your point about evolution is well taken, but as you so rightly point out, the influence of the internet and indeed moving film of porn is quite recent. I quite easily agree that in my own experience this sort of porn is more stimulating, but we can have no idea of the overall effect, and once again, based on my own experience-- I wonder whether it is I who am truly the outlier here.

Marla,

Thank you for your links. I shall take the time to read and think about them.

Best,
don

I tend to agree with this article. I caught my boyfriend looking at porn and talking to prostitues online after dating for about 3 months (mind you this was going on the whole time we were dating). I have expressed my dislike of porn and of its negative effects to him and have noticed that his libido has been lower. He hardly ever cums from having sexual intercourse, only with oral sex/handjob can he cum at this point. Perhaps his brain wiring has changed as a result of the constant porn influence. So far he has stopped watching porn for about 2 months but I have not seen any increase in his libido.

I personally am having the same issues of "rewiring" my brain to "real woman" circumstances. If I knew I was desensitizing my brain I would of not started this porn/masturbation behavior. When I attempted to have sex with a real woman, i had ED, no response just frustration. The most embarassing thing was she was aggressive and attractive which I seeked out in porn images. I have started the "reboot" process with daily success. First, terminate the porn even situational sexual programs on TV (i.e. Showtime, HBO, Family Guy or Simpsons). Next, exercise vigourous to pump blood throughout your system. If you have to masturbate, use a real woman to arouse not porn. Slowly, it will come back. This has been working with me. The only issue I have is performance anxiety due to prior failure. My confident was shaken but I will return since I know it is not a physical problem.

Would you support male enhancement pills i.e. viagra to jump start sexual performance in the short term or will this introduce the brain to a new stimuli that can be counter-productive to recovery? I am 40 years old and feel this is too early to introduce my system to enhansement drugs. Before, learning about the connection between ED and porn, I have an appointment with a doctor to make sure my physical health is within limits. I personally stopped cold turkey with mastubating to porn introducing a different stimuli, imagination of real woman which has helped.