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As I listened to their stories, I realized that debates about guilt, morality, sexual repression, exploitation, and freedom of speech are largely beside the point. Quite simply, these guys had thrown their brain chemistry out of whack. It might have happened to anyone. Read More
The Porn Trap
I have been a sex and relationship therapist for over 30 years. Like many therapists I have seen an increasing number of people who are suffering from serious problems caused by porn. As you point out, internet porn is far more compelling and addictive than porn of the past and impacts the brain in powerful ways. It's now a leading cause of relationship break-up and divorce. While everyone doesn't develop serious problems from porn, a growing number of people do. At first, I couldn't believe it when clients started telling me that they had become dependent on porn for arousal, that porn spawned an interest in risky and illegal activities, and that they'd actually developed a preference for porn over sex with a real partner. I was also amazed at how difficult it was to give up. Porn is the new tobacco--it's hard for many people who are into it to realize it has a serious downside that needs to be addressed. Staying away from porn is part of the solution, but like with drug and alcohol recovery, ex-porn users also usually have lots of work to do to heal from the negative impact and approach sex and relationships in new, healthier ways. Healing is possible. The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography (Wendy and Larry Maltz, HarperCollins, 2008--coming 1/2010 in paperback) is a book that helps individuals and couples to heal. www.healthysex.com
Thanks, and while we're selling things ;-)
here's an audiobook addressed to boys and their parents, which explains how the brain learns and why supranormal stimulation (junk food, porn) has the potential to be addictive. It's called, "Things You Didn't Know About Porn." It's non-religious and science based, and is designed to help kids make more informed choices. http://www.iamplify.com/store/product_details/BodyWisdom/Things-You-Didn...
Consistent Results?
I am not a mental health professional, but your analysis raises several questions for me. They include:
If an adverse reaction (inability to effectively recover) from internet erotica (which you call "porn") stimulus is governed by biology, how do you explain why people don't get addicted and can recover. Are we just "surfing on borrowed time", or do we have either more efficient biological systems which permit a "survivable" recovery from the "over-stimulation" caused by erotica on the web? What level of efficiency is the norm?
Are the people that you reference many standard deviations from the genetic mean, or are people who are not adversely affected far from the genetic mean?
Not being an addict of any kind -- other than possibly a tortilla chip addict -- I find it hard to understand why this is just not another manifestation of people with personalities or genetics that predispose them to addiction becoming addicted -- this time to internet "porn" as a different kind of escape enabling stimulus.
Did the "porn" addicted people who you, as mental health professionals, encounter in your practices become "ruined" from using porn in pre-existing "normal" healthy, happy sex-lived relationships or was there already significant "trouble in paradise", with "porn" used as a way to avoid addressing significant relationship problems -- in the same fashion as drugs and alcohol are used for avoidance?
Certainly people are different
and their nervous systems are, too. And their past experiences have an influence on their systems and their susceptibility to addiction (just as soothing, selfless affection seems to help reverse that damage).
However, just as with alcohol, it may be that porn...er erotica... can have unwelcome effects even when use does not rise to the level of "addiction." Doidge does a good job of pointing this out in his book, "The Brain That Changes Itself." Here are some excerpts:
p. 104 ["Erotica" users] reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive. When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationshp to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex but over time had the opposite effect. …Some gently tried to persuade their lovers to act like porn stars, and they were increasingly interested in “fucking” as opposed to “making love.”…I got the impression that any sexual creativity these men had was dying and that they were becoming addicted to Internet porn.
pp. 104-105 Many boys [on university campuses] spoke openly about how they masturbated at least once every day, as if this were some sort of prudent maintenance of the psychosexual system. …The danger is that this tolerance will carry over into relationships, as it did in patients whom I was seeing, leading to potency problems and new, at times unwelcome, tastes. …Today young men who surf porn are tremendously fearful of impotence, or “erectile dysfunction” as it is euphemistically called. …the problem is in their heads, in their sexual brain maps.
Does this problem only affect
Does this problem only affect males? Does it only affect males to this degree? If so, why not females as well?
And the answer is...
Females are addicted to their own variety of porn: daytime and nighttime soap operas, talk/advice/celebrity shows, all the female-in-danger crime dramas, the "reality" shows, and most all sitcoms are targeted at an almost exclusively female audience, which you can tell from what the ads are trying to sell (not beer or motor oil). In fact, what used to be the major three networks serve up female porn from about 7 AM to 11 PM every weekday.
Oh, and Harlequin Books sells five novels encouraging women to delusions of romantic grandeur every second. I recall reading that some 75% (or more) of their sales come from women who read something like a dozen or twenty of these books each month.
Nobody seems to think there's any problem with any of this. It's like it's invisible. Which goes along with the longstanding American tradition of ignoring the structural causes of social and individual problems, even though any biologist will tell you it is the behavior of the females which is most fundamental so far as what kind of reproductive system you have, and what the behavior of the males is in it.
In other words, the topic this particular blog is about is just a symptom of something larger going on. It might be fine to use psychoneurochemical knowledge to treat people on a case-by-case basis, but it would make more sense to address the actual structural problems. Not that that will ever happen.
Great answer
I agree that a lot of the things you name are the equivalent of porn, marketed to females. Activities and substances that get our dopamine going are easy to sell.
I think the way to address the problem is to increase the equilibrium of our limbic brains with "new" behaviors. For example, exchanging daily bonding behaviors with a lover, and decreasing the focus on orgasm, seem to increase inner equilibrium. And for those without partners, there are other time-honored methods: meditation, exercise, friendly interaction, caring for pets, time in nature, and so forth.
I've noticed that I'm less susceptible to propaganda and advertising-induced cravings when I stay balanced. If we can't change the system, maybe we can change our nervous system instead. That's the focus of my book.
see Reddit community insight and critique of this article
http://www.reddit.com/r/cogsci/comments/9rrh9/unexpected_lessons_from_po...
Thanks for posting this
It's hard for people to understand that an activity can be just as addictive as a drug because the reward circuitry and dopamine drive both. And both can dysregulate dopamine levels, producing withdrawal symptoms and a powerful desire to "self-medicate" with more stimulation.
This information has to be spelled out in detail before people can really see what's going on. That's tough in today's 15-second soundbite culture.
CARL JUNG versus SIGMUND FREUD
It appears as if therapists who sek seek to impose their values or even their pathology on their patients, instead of taking the time to listen to them long
enough to be able to understand their concerns, are not very effective.
As I understand it, the rivalry between the compassionate Carl Jung and the dictatorial Sigmund Freud is still unresolved, and the following is an
interesting read that raises the issue in a perfunctory manner.
Any thoughts about this?
http://surftofind.com/dreams
Addiction
Personally, I've never quite understood addiction. And withdrawal symptoms remind me of tantrum-like behavior; when you take a child's toy away and they cry and scream and thrash... The kids and the addicts are simply reacting to the void created from the absense of something, they are grieving the loss of a "limb" or a "loved one," the prolonged stress having adverse effects on the body and mind, obviously, with drugs, there are chemical conflagrations occuring as well, and I suppose the body creates those same or other chemicals in regards to the addiction as well. Anyway, my point is, someone above mentioned "addictive personalities," and I'm not entirely sure what this is, because in a way, everyone is "addicted" to something, however "addicted" may be the wrong word, perhaps "dedicated" fits better, because really the only difference between addiction and dedication is the object into which massive and obsessive effort and energy is poured. It's an addiction when the object is harmful, it's a dedication when the object is benign; without a zealous devotion to math and physics, Einstein would never have achieved genius in the area...if "addictive personalities" really exist, it should be just as easy for people to latch onto positive agendas and pour unreasonable, ridiculous energy and time into them as it is for them to latch onto negative agendas. The only difference between a virtuoso violinist who disregards nearly everything else in life in exchange for ceaseless, relentless practicing and a heroine user who disregards nearly everything in life in exchange for ceaseless, relentless highs is the object to which they are devoted. Forbid a lifelong pianist from ever again touching the ivory keys and I would guess we would see withdrawal symptoms. Junkies aren't just using drugs, they are practicing "getting high" for some sort of "high symphony" someday in the future...
We look at addicts as if they are somehow different from the rest of us, when really, we are all the same, the objects of our obsessions are the only thing that sets us apart. Anyone with a PHD requires some level of addiction to their field, anyone with a specialty, anyone with a virtuoso-like skill required some level of obsessive dedication to get there. Obviously, this would sort of point to a true cure to addiction lying somewhere in developing an ability to either become addicted to something benign (like gardening) or developing the ability to achieve balance...spread your devotions amongst many different things.
you understand it pretty well, except...
"Personally, I've never quite understood addiction. "
You seem to understand it pretty well. You accurately described addiction vs. dedication with your knowledge that addiction leads to harmful behavior.
All that said, you miss one crucial point. Those virtuosos you speak about often suffer from OCD, bipolar, ect. Many have mental illnesses. Many artistic (especially musicians) have autism (often in the form of Aspberger's Syndrome). I'm not saying that balanced people can't be accomplished or even geniuses. But there is often a price to pay.
Einstein married his first cousin. Even in 1912, that's kinda weird. He probably suffered from some mental illness.
My point is, a healthy person finds balance. Mental illness that generates genius-level passion - and addiction - are two sides of the same coin. My two cents.
David Kaplan
many
Noting the word "many," I can't help but wondering when we re-evaluate our concepts of disorders, dysfunctions and syndromes to consider that these were originally intended to specify things outside the normal state of things; I think we've gone a long spell without understanding what the state of normalcy or equilibrium or status quo is. If the majority of genius types exhibit certain qualities, then "normal" would mean someone with those qualities, and the "disorder" would lie in those who differ. At what point does the majority of "sufferers" become what we define as "normal" and the relatively few "healthy" ones become ill, imbalanced, syndromed anomolies? Granted, epidemic pandemic plagues or afflictions that result in harm are obviously detrimental and therefore unwanted, but pertaining to mental health and "sanity," if the majority of humans exhibit certain types of behaviors, tendencies or qualities, then it makes only sense to note that as normal... Wait, I think I've gotten off-subject here...what were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, yes, I agree with your two cents. Sorry for straying...
I hear ya, brother...
I know what you mean. If the majority of the people are "insane" then the new "sane" is what the old "insane" used to be - if ya get my drift.
Anyway, the APA is supposedly coming out with the DSM V in 2012. We'll then see what the "new normal" is!
David Kaplan
Addiction vs Dedication
There seems to be a disconnect in your thought process between addiction and dedication. I specialize in working with clients recovering from trauma in relationships. Addiction can be a part of their problem as it can be used to self soothe in an unhealthy way.
Work is a healthy necessary vital part of one's life. However, there are workaholics who lose their ability to get pleasure from other parts of their lives and find comfort only in work. We migrate from acceptable to destructive in that example and from dedicated to addicted.
Pain killers are a necessity after surgery. We would be unable to tolerate the enormous pain we would suffer without them. As we heal we take less and less of the pain killers until we no longer need them. When we do not take less and less, we become addicted to them. We have again moved from acceptable to destructive.
The point of addiction arrives when the substance or activity is interfering with our ability to live our lives, enjoy healthy pleasures and interact with others in positive meaningful ways. Through abuse we can become addicted to virtually anything... diet soda, sugar, McDonalds, gambling, illicit drugs, porn, sky diving, even violence and hostility can become addicting.
Through recovery work we can learn to practice self care and return to balance in all areas of our lives.
Normal?
Addiction versus dedication---abnormal versus normal. These are topics that need more elaboration. Is normal defined by statistics? If so then it will change as the population of subjects change. Cigarette smoking fell within the normative category 50 years ago but now as people change their habits it is moving more toward being abnormal. I dare say with the internet more people view porn now than when it required going to an adult bookstore or using mail order to obtain. Is it normal to watch TV and people that read books abnormal? Another example of changes made with changing technology. I think culture and societal issues are more determinant of behavior than brain chemistry.
Hmmm....are you saying
that if something is used widely enough, it can't be considered addictive at a brain chemistry level?
I think that can lead to a very misleading analysis. It can cause people (young porn users, for example) to imagine that very demanding habits, which could be causing serious problems in their lives, "can't be addictions," and therefore don't need to be addressed.
Most addicts I hear from are really relieved to understand the brain chemistry piece of addiction, as it lines up with their actual experience, and gives them more choices about how to proceed if they wish to change a habit.
Unexpected lessons from porn users"
The addiction discussion is a complex one, but the definition you arrived at seems to be a pretty good generalization - "The point of addiction arrives when the substance or activity is interfering with our ability to live our lives, enjoy healthy pleasures and interact with others in positive meaningful ways."
However, one still has to define healthy pleasures, I guess as compared to "unhealthy pleasures" or to "healthy pains". And we can go on - what is actually meant by "live our lives"? I assume that you mean that the "addiction" does not leave enough time, energy or interest to accomplish, interact or learn - all words associated with better life quality. Then there is "interact with others" - "porn addiction" (the subject here) taken to the next level could be "sex addiction" (the interacting with others part). I'm surprised no one brought this up. There is a continuing discussion about whether sex addiction (including the porn part) is really an addiction. Sorta like a food addiction, it is a natural and necessary human activity, it only becomes an "addiction" when overeating the wrong foods causes obesity which leads to lots of other problems. Sex, another natural and necessary activity, becomes addictive, I guess, when overindulging leads to emotional and psychological states that create low self-worth, interfere with intimacy and prevent or damage the ability to maintain a relationship. Or the "addict" could get shot by a jealous boyfriend or wife, clearly dangerous. This seems to fit some of the people you describe as "porn addicts". I would tend to think that one of the major problems with online porn, or even real sexual activity with real people is that when these activities become addictive, they are using a lot of the addict's time. The time use itself becomes an interference with a lot of other activities, since any addict will always want to indulge his/her addiction whenever the opportunity presents itself. Finally, my point - there is a new "reality" show on VH-1 "Dr. Drew's Sex Rehab". I would be interested to see some opinions of this show from you and other professionals in PT since this show will reach a much wider audience with its own definition of sex (and porn) addiction - at least one of the cast has already said that he is addicted to porn AND one cast member is a real live porn star (or performer - a better description). Maybe it's just another over-the-top sleazy VH-1 show, but pay attention, because this may define what many people think about sex addiction.
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