Creative Development

I loved your article. This is an issue that has been present as long as we can remember, but the recent suicides due to bullying are bringing it into the spotlight, but people shouldn't have to die before we recognize a problem.

There is a new book out that every parent should have - it is called - "How to Find Mental Health Care for Your Child," by Dr. Ellen Braaten. She is a Harvard psychologist and the book is published by the American Psychological Association. I truly believe that when parents think that their child is a bully or being bullied - it is a sign that there is something deeper going on. Even as an earlier post said - "it makes me feel more powerful." Maybe that is a lack of self-esteem. Parents need to become more pro-active in the mental health issues of their children. This book provides case studies as well as tips for parents in identifying issues, how to find the best doc, evaluation options, etc. I don't understand why there are not more books like this. Here is the website: MentalHealthandChild.com

I run a bullying programme in schools utilizing CBT methods. It is almost impossible to get into schools who say they have a strict anti bully policy. Yet parents are constantly contacting me regarding bullying issues, saying that policy is one thing and the reality is another. Their children don't want to go to school. Empathy and compassion needs to come back into school playgrounds.

Bullies and bullied both require help and a list of rules on classroom walls isn't enough.

Clare

Hi Ms. Healy, thanks for writing about this
important subject. And for your excellent suggestions
on how to reduce bullying.

One thing that I would add would be for parents to
keep their child's exposure to violent media very much
to a minimum. The evidence is clear that exposure to
violent TV/movies, video games, etc desensitizes the
viewer and also reduces the viewer's empathy.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090219202831.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090303194004.htm

Someone with reduced empathy is more likely to bully,
and also more likely to be entertained by watching
someone being bullied.

Even non-violent media very often models social
aggression. For example, Simon Cowell became famous
for publicly humiliating contestants for the
enjoyment of the audience.

http://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.thepsychologist.org.uk/archive/archive_home.cfm/volumeID_17-editionID_113-ArticleID_783-getfile_getPDF/thepsychologist\1204coyn.pdf

It would be wonderful to improve the culture of
schools, and for students to learn kinder and
more tolerant ways to interact. But those messages
would be counteracted by the endless violence
and aggression glorified on TV/movies and video games.

Right now, on average, kids spend more time
watching TV than they do in school. so reducing
media exposure, especially violent media exposure
would also make a big difference.

Terry

I also wonder if kids at home aren't learning bullying behavior directly from their parents or from other adults. Over the past ten years, I have witnessed much bullying in the work force, both during my military career and in civilian life. Having been bullied in junior high and high school myself, I hate, hate, hate bullies and challenge the adult ones anytime I can. When I first joined the military in my early 20's, I remember being absolutely shocked that I had co-workers of all ages, backgrounds, and educational levels who consistently acted like teenagers when it came to gossip, backbiting, clique-ishness, and outright cruelty to their brothers and sisters in arms. I agree that we need to look at bullying holistically - I see it as a symptom of a larger societal problem: clearly many young bullies grow up to be adult bullies who perpetuate the cycle by passing it onto their children.

I wrote something in regards to bullys in school and how my son, once he starts school, will be affected. We are two Gay men and we adopted out son when he was just two days old. Of course this makes Andrew very different than most. This is our approach to helping our son cope with these sort of issues.

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6992912-stop-the-bully-in-the-...

I would like to ask if you would be interested in adding a few articles on bullying to our new website. This HALT website is designed as an open platform to build the bullying articles to help save a life. The more voices we have the children we can save.

www.haltnow.ca - Humanity Against Local Terrorism - HALT

A new website that offers education, prevention, support and services to abused and bullied victims throughout each of our communities. We do so in order to encourage education, prevention and support to aid people in our communities and our country . H.A.L.T. was created in order to help in finding a solution to stop this local terrorism of bullying, abuse and domestic violence within our communities. Please help us stop these senseless acts.

I look forward to any help you can offer. Wishing you all the best.
John

Personally I think all the answers can be found on Peter Gray's blog Freedom to learn

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn

and not just his latest blog post, all are informative.

I have developed a bully prevention show for elementary schools. Learn more about it here...
http://www.StopBullyingShow.com