Children need encouragement like plants need water
--- Rudolf Dreikurs, MD ---
Without question this is true. Encouragement is the strongest force that enables a child to freely explore, discover and create him or her self. It allows a child to safely risk becoming more in each moment. En-courage actually means "to put in courage" which seems to be one of the most beneficial elements of growth. Children are asked everyday to courageously face new experiences of learning to communicate, create and play in this often upside-down world.
Parenting Paradox
Unfortunately, I often witness parents with the best intentions that come out wrong. I believe most seek to encourage their children's talents although some unknowingly jump in and do their child's work (i.e. controlling). For example, little Charlie (age 8) was creating a Holiday Card for Grandpa when Dad took charge and told him where to color, draw, glue and place the ribbon on the card. It did not feel encouraging.
All children actually need pure encouragement in their quest to express their emerging originality and unique talents. Charlie is no different. He was learning how to please his father versus develop his skills while making that card.
Emitting encouragement isn't easy for every parent. It takes a strong individual to openly give confidence to a child to freely explore, color outside the lines, create new lines and trust a child's unique abilities will surface within the experience of creative play. The greatest parents, in my mind, are those that learn to get out of the way (i.e. emotionally). They have created positive conditions where children feel supported and safe to explore their worlds.
Seeds of encouragement
Planting the seeds of encouragement is surely parental work. Such seeds are the springboard for developing a child's sense of self and confidence. Every child is different as well. Some need more encouragement than others. Being attuned to your child's unique needs is always paramount.
Encouragement is a powerful force of positive parenting. It requires that you focus upon sending affirmative messages of confidence toward your child. You believe he or she can do it, she or he is capable and that they already have abilities right now. It is not manipulating a child's behavior with fear, punishments or criticism. It is also not praise such as "good job" but more forward focused like "you can do it."
Such support is certainly the motor on a child's confidence engine while also spurring creative development. A child needs to feel positive and encouraged to openly risk using his or her imagination. And it is through imaginative play that children often find their path of highest potential.
Crossing the threshold
Late Irish poet John O'Donohue referred to encouragement as a beautiful gift. He further stated that "when someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own" and isn't that the truth. I believe it is the children of this world that need our adult help in positively crossing the magnificent threshold of becoming their authentic selves.
