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If the caterpillar knew it was going to dissolve into goo while in the cocoon, would it resist? That’s what happens. A monarch butterfly will begin as an egg and then lives as a caterpillar for about 10-14 days. At that point the caterpillar stops eating and builds a protective shell around itself (cocoon or chrysalis) where it disintegrates into an enzymatic fluid. As if by magic, it then restructures into a completely new body. The process for a monarch takes the same amount of time that the caterpillar tasted life. The new body emerges and can live any where from 2-4 weeks to 8-9 months. So, if you were told that everything about who and what you are had to die in order to continue living, would you resist?
In a way, we humans aren’t that different from the miraculous monarchs insomuch as our cells continually die and renew. We also go through major life transitions. We begin as an embryo inside a womb and once birthed, we proceed from infancy to childhood to adolescence to adulthood to late adulthood. Yet our transitions are smoother and somewhat less abrupt on the physical level (well, we don’t dissolve into a liquid state after learning to crawl). However, the emotional level is altogether different. Many people resist change at all costs. Some don’t want to grow up. Some don’t want to grow old. Some cling to illusory forms of security like a life vest in a stormy sea.
Often the resistance stems from fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the past. Fear of change. This final post of the series on getting to know yourself (check out posts I and II if you haven’t already) looks at the nine main forms of fear that drive each personality. Sure, we can all relate to fear and experience the many forms of fear, yet according to the Enneagram, a more holistic personality typing system, each personality type is more vulnerable to and driven by one main fear above the rest. Call it our personal kryptonite. Good news is that this post provides the antidotes.
Type 1 – The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist is driven to be good. They desire integrity and virtuousness above all else and have a relentless energy to be, well, perfect. The underlying fear that drives them is the fear of being bad, evil, corrupt or defective in some way. The antidote is to relax into the moment and love all parts of self and detach from the internal tape that punishes and controls and judges (oneself and others). You don’t have to force yourself into the goo state that becomes the butterfly. Just let it happen and it will. Gracefully.
Type 2 – The Caretaker
The caretaker just wants to feel loved. They crave intimacy and connection and work endlessly to take care of others—often to the neglect of their own health. Their underlying fear is being unloved and not wanted or accepted for themselves alone, so they risk of trying to change themselves in order to please others. The antidote is to let go of expectations of others and accept the moment and oneself completely. Paradoxically in letting go and caring for oneself in the moment, one can feel the ethereal love they so crave much from others—much like the caterpillar soaking up the rays of sunshine as it nibbles its leaf.
Type 3 – The Achiever
Achievers are driven by what they achieve. They want to feel accepted and desired for their accomplishments. They work hard to attain success and often measure their self-worth through external measures. Their underlying fear is being worthless and not valued apart from their achievements and/or material worth. The antidote is to stop comparing themselves to others and get in the moment and focus on themselves. Once they let go of the need for recognition and admiration from others, they are able to feel worthy and valuable just for being alive. It’s like the chrysalis accepting and recognizing its worth and appreciating the magnificent transformational power inherent in its state even though others can’t see or understand what’s happening inside of it.
Type 4 – The Artist
The artist sees themselves apart from others, an individualist. They are driven to find themselves and their personal identity. Meaning is essential for them and they can get lost in how they feel. Their main underlying fear is not having an identity or having any significance in life. As such, they may try on several identities in their lifetime while never feeling quite connected to any of them. The antidote to their fear of being insignificant is to focus more on the moment and how they feel in their body right now. Trust the process just like the chrysalis and know that fully feeling each of the body’s sensations reveals the meaning of life. Live life instead of seeking it as it’s not elsewhere in fantasy or imagination—its here, right here and right now. Resist getting lost in self-absorption and emotional drama and find peace through empathy and genuine connection with others in the moment.
Type 5 – The Thinker
The thinker is an excellent investigator and scientist. They thrive on obtaining knowledge and solving problems. Competency is important to them along with being capable. Worth comes from mastering something and their underlying fear is being helpless, useless and incapable. They can be fabulous innovators detaching from life and getting lost in their thoughts under stress. The antidote is to release the observer perspective and fully engage in life in the here and now – which actually provides more of the very competence they seek. Not that unlike the chrysalis in its late stages of developing its wings.
Type 6 – The Loyalist
Loyalists seek the very thing they provide – loyalty. They desperately want security and support more than any other type. Their underlying fear is not having the support and guidance they need and not being able to make it on their own. Like the butterfly getting ready to emerge from its cocoon, they are driven by insecure fear and wrestle to find security through others around them. They risk becoming dependent and can compulsively react in order to meet the perceived needs and expectations of others. The antidote is to stop, breathe and heed one’s inner guidance in the moment. Follow your heart. Emerge. Fly. Trust you have been equipped with all you need.
Type 7 – The Enthusiast
Wide-eyed and excited, enthusiasts embrace all of life with such tremendous yearning that they fear they cannot get enough. Their main underlying fear is being deprived and trapped in pain. Like the butterfly that has just emerged from the chrysalis state, they flit from one thing to another in a constant search for more. They often have knowledge about a wide range of topics, yet are rarely satisfied with what they have. The grass is always greener somewhere else. The antidote is to fully embrace the moment and experience the richness and fullness of what is right in front of them. Then peace and contentment can come through the simple act of breathing. Keep resetting the racing mind with gratitude for now.
Type 8 – The Provider
Providers are powerful, dominant, willful and confident. They thrive on challenge and enjoy challenging others. They fiercely protect themselves and are determined to steer their own course in life. Like the emerged butterfly that has found its strength in flight, the provider feels capable yet underneath fears being harmed, violated and controlled by others. They react by being even stronger—which can lead to feeling overwhelmed and isolating in order to plot revenge. The antidote is to fully experience one’s feelings. Grieve as necessary. Take Soul time in the moment where feelings can come up to heal. Release expectations and fully experience life through the senses you have—sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.
Type 9 – The Peacemaker
Peacemakers seek to create peace within themselves and in their environment. They are driven to maintain stability while their underlying fear is being lost, separated, and even annihilated. When out of balance they get absorbed in their thoughts and emotional fantasies, like escaping into a perpetual dreamlike playground. The antidote to their fear of getting lost is to wake up and fully experience being in one’s body—and the environment in this present moment. It is essential for peacemakers to maintain their boundaries while sharing their gifts with the world. It’s like the butterfly realizing that it’s no longer goo and its job is to fly, pollinate, and enjoy its life. By living life, they automatically share their calming presence and beauty in the world.
Could you relate to each of these nine types? Did one stand out more than the others? Whatever your truth, take comfort in knowing that the solutions were all pretty much the same—get in the moment. I don’t know if caterpillars feel. Do they experience fear? Existential angst? I suspect if they were human, they might organize with other caterpillars to prevent the annihilation of the chrysalis. The Grand Designer seems to have created these creatures without fear, as they appear to just accept where they are and follow their internal instincts, like following a Calling or Divine Plan. If we can learn the same radical self-acceptance be in the moment, our fears will diminish and our lives unfold in a majestic way. Try not to waste another breath fearing where you’ve been or where you might be going. Many people get to their deathbeds having lived very few breaths in the present. Accumulate your breaths by waking up to the here and now. Be the caterpillar or the chrysalis or the butterfly. Be your Divine Nature. Trust and LIVE in the HERE and NOW.
(After reading all of this, go ahead and take a deep breath in to the count of four. And exhale to the count of four. Try it four times. You deserve it.)
Blessed wishes from my heart and breath to yours—this very moment.
