It seems that sex addiction is in the lime light these days thanks in large part to the public disclosure of Tiger Woods' many scandalous affairs and his being released from the Gentle Path Treatment Program in Hattiesburg, Mississippi earlier this month.
All eyes have been on Tiger but there is also some curiosity to see what Elin's going to do next. Will she stay by Tiger's side and go through recovery with him, or will she cut her losses and opt for a divorce?
There was a wonderful article this week in the San Francisco Chronicle about how porn addiction ruins relationships and lives.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2010/02/22/DD...
One fact that stood out in the article is just how many people are impacted by sex addiction. The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity estimates that as many as 18 to 24 million people are sex addicts. This means that another several million are co-sex addicts (commonly known as "cosas") and suffering perhaps more than the addict himself from the downward spiral of the disease.
While the title of the article talks about relationships being ruined, it only portrays the sex addict's perspective and this tends to be where the story ends.
With Tiger Woods, we only know about his escapades. What we have heard very little about is the suffering that Elin has endured to date. There are rumors that she attacked Tiger with a golf club but those who truly in the know are denying this accusation. Regardless of whether this actually happened, it's safe to assume that Tiger's philandering didn't bring out the best in Elin.
Co-sex-addicts suffer tremendously, not only because of the sense of rejection, but from wondering what their partner is up to and who he's with when out of sight. There is also the very real concern of the physical dangers a sex addict may be putting his spouse in with the numerous and sometimes deadly STD's.
I imagine Elin has had many sleepless nights and that she has suffered tremendous hurt, anger, jealousy, insecurity, not to mention shame and embarrassment (due to Tiger's celebrity status) these past few years. Being a co-sex-addict can be as demoralizing (or more) as being an addict.
Co-sex-addicts deserve the same attention and treatment that sex-addicts receive and, thankfully, there are some resources out there. Books such as Deceived, by Claudia Black, are written for the co-sex-addict to understand her actions and reactions and to break her part in the addictive, unhealthy cycle.
http://claudiablack.com/documents/toD_docLib/35.pdf
There are treatment programs and 12-step programs for the partners of sex-addicts.
Tiger's illness is apparent and it's clear that he needs help, but Elin has some work to do on herself as well if she is going to be free of her co-addiction to Tiger's sex addiction.
